One Year

I've been waiting a whole year to be able to write a post like this. Knowing that it would be amazing to look back over a year and see how far we have come! Never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured us where we are.

Today in the midst of potty training and waiting to hear back about jobs I think back to a year ago! boy! have things changed for us! This is the last picture of me pregnant with Landon right at 34 Weeks! My water broke on Sept 5th. (landon was not due until Oct 14th. ) I had an aweful day at church wondering if things were ok b/c I just didn't feel right, I went to the triage room in the hospital and got checked out, but they confirmed it was not amniotic fluid and sent me home. I was home literally about an hour and my water really did break! That time I knew for sure. Panic struck me! I don't have anything ready! The house is a mess! i don't have baby clothes out! In fact I don't have ANYTHING out! I'm not ready! this cannot be happening. i stood in the shower sobbing on the phone to my sister not knowing what to do. As Richard ran around the house, calling his sister to come and get Carson, trying to get a few things together for the hospital stay! This isn't supposed to happen! I'm not ready AT ALL!!!!! How is the baby?!???? Will everything be ok with the baby???!!??. So many emotions that I was feeling.

 Our stay in the hospital was long.(at least it felt long to me) Labor did not kick in right away and I was put on bed rest in the hospital with IV and antibiotics and talking with a lot of doctors. It was Labor day weekend then too so the normal doctors and U/S techs were not there. So we just waited. At that point my expectations of delivering naturally were slowly being changed assuming there was no way!
the next couple days were spent in a lot of prayer and begging God for wisdom for us and the doctors with the decisions that lay ahead. If you want to read the whole birth story go here. In short God allowed me to delivery naturally and I could not be more thankful for that!
Long story short - landon was born a healthy 6lbs and 9 oz!!!!!!!!!!!! For a six week premie that is very good.

 

This picture is not really meant to be seen by many - oh well
It is the first time I held him but only for like 30 sec before he was wisked
away - and then I had to wait more than a day to hold him again.

This is all I could do at the beginning to comfort him. I did not
even feed him for about 36 hrs

 
It was heart breaking to see him like this, but I knew it was helping him.

 Slowly things progressed and more and more "equipment" was taken off of him. It was such a joy to watch him as he got more and more independent with his breathing and his eating.
 He did experience a little Jaundice and this is mainly what kept him in the NICU for a longer period of time. (although it was only 6 days which is not very long at all compared to a lot of babies)

 I was overjoyed when i could hold him and feed him as difficult as it was b/c he had a feeding tube in his nose still. But those first few times I held him in the rocking chair in the NICU were so precious.

Marks from the tape from feeding tube

We caught him chilling out in his Jaundice "tank"
He still lays like this a lot!

 
 After 6 longs days we finally were able to come home! Not without much anxiousness and worry from me.

I stand in awe now looking back over the last year. Landon has grown to be a very healthy boy! He has caught up in all his developmental areas. He is one of the most pleasant babies I've ever seen. I am truly blessed. A year ago - we were sitting in the hospital wondering and worrying about what our new life would hold. Now today we are sitting in Fort Collins in our new apartment, in a new city, with 2 healthy boys, potty training the older one, and teaching Landon to drink milk from a cup! We don't have a "community" around us yet, but we are building one slowly in Fort Collins. I can't believe how much has changed in our lives over the past year.

Richard and I are closer than we were a year ago, b/c of what we experienced together. We grew in our knowledge of God's love for us, and the blessing of having a church body to care for us. Looking back at how God has lead us down the road we are now on - it's amazing. We are psyched to look ahead at what this next year holds for us! What changes will we experience this coming year?

And now this is our family! Landon celebrated his 1st year (although it's not until the 8th so expect one more "one year" post. hahahaha). and we are in colorado with a healthy family!

All New things

Today I think I got a little too ambitious. Potty training has been one of the things that I have dreaded the most so far about parenting. I've watched as others have potty trained their kids. I've tried to talk to a few people about how/what they did. I talked to my sister, I learned about "potty training in a day" and just was not looking forward to it and felt like it was this huge goal that was soooo unattainable.
My original goal was to potty train this summer, then we decided to move across the country and thought I should probably wait until we get settled. Since we've been here I've gotten to my breaking point with diapers for him, and I thought maybe he was ready. So last week we got a "potty seat" and one package of undies. This morning I just took out the potty and told him to sit there and "go on the potty" and we  were started in it "ready or not". He didn't seem to mind and while he sat there watching tv and drinking and eating he seemed to be fine. he did go a few times. Then we had to run to the store, b/c I happened to be having company that night too. The realization that i just started this big project without really preparing mentally for it scared me to death. What do I do to go to the store? What do I do for nap time? What do I do for bedtime? What if he has accidents? WOW! it's pretty overwhelming to me not knowing how it really works.
Landon is also in a transition period. I decided to stop doing baby food and start figuring out "real" food for him. I cooked carrots and some mixed veggies and am cutting up fruit for him, and giving him milk in a sippy cup! He seems to be doing ok, but not great. I think he's sad he doesn't get his spoonfuls of food. he seems to be fighting me a little with it.

today I feel overwhelmed - missing friends, not knowing where I will fit in here, trying to potty train, trying to take care of my house and children, trying to not worry about a job, and craving social gatherings.

I'm not old - but one thing I've learned in my life is that everything is a phase. i need to be patient and relax about it. Kids always go through phases. Carson will eventually pee by himself. Landon will eventually eat normal food. I will eventually have close friends here. Richard will get a job. We will soon be busier than we want to be with people and church and community.

Claiming truth tonight and asking for patience to get through this introductory time in our lives. I know God loves me and is taking care of me. i know he will be glorified in me.  Maybe I was a little too ambitious - but I've reached the point of no return. Tomorrow is another day.

P.S. I'm pleased with how potty training went today. He told me when he had to go all but one time today. he was using his little seat and excited about it. I want to be successful and be able to tell everyone I did it in one day and he got it. But i can't put those things on myself. he understands it, we will go at it again tomorrow. He will get it eventually - but I am pleased that he only had one accident today.

Pss - Company was great! Dinner tasted good. and we enjoyed visiting with new friends and getting to know them. I'm so glad they came over.

1st Birthday party

When we decided to move the middle of August, one of the things that made me sad was that Landon was turning 1 year old soon and I could not do a party for him with our friends and cousins. Once we got here I realized i could invite family that could never attend one of our bday parties when we lived in PA. And we are so happy that we could celebrate together. So I planned a little get together with Richard's parents, grandparents and 2 of his siblings with their families. (although we really missed not having the cousins from PA to celebrate with us, and they will never be replaced).

He was not born until Sept 8th, but we did his party ahead of time so we could enjoy the family on the holiday weekend when it was a little more convenient for them to travel here. We had the get together in Denver at my brother in law's house. It was a lot of fun to be with family!  It's funny the thought of doing a party for a baby who has "NO CLUE". So we excused it with celebrating "Nana's" bday (who happened to be born on the 8th also) and my birthday. We all got presents. :)

this is my birthday boy sitting on the "throne"

He's pretty close to walking

Carson with his great Grandpa

Cousins
These 2 are about 4 months apart - they look so much alike!

 For food we had Taco salad with a lot of fixins', fruit, cupcakes

Just having moved to CO - we had to
a broncos theme

 The kids played a lot in the backyard and had a great time together

 

Happy Birthday boy swinging

 

 
The "Cake Ceremony"

Singing "Happy Birthday"

 

 

He made a mess

 

 

The Loot

A nice winter Coat

 

This is him Saying "Thank You" to everyone in his own way

The train Track my mom bought him, that Carson has played with
the entire day! And gets mad when Landon touches it. ha

Happy Birthday

Today is my 27th Birthday. But more importantly it's Jerelyn's birthday! We are twins and have always shared the same birthday our entire lives. My mother always made it special for both of us. When I was little I didn't like it so much, now that I'm an adult I realize how much of a blessing it is to share this with one of my best friends. She is a Great mother, a Great wife, a great Sister, a Great pastor's wife, and a Great Great friend. (we didn't always get along) We have grown so close of the last 4-5 years and I am honored to share her birthday with her. She is a great encouragement to me! She is a picture of patience and wisdom! I love that we both have 2 boys the same distance apart, so we always have stories to share with each other!
 I wish you a wonderful birthday, Jerelyn. I hope you feel special! I hope you enjoy your day! Know that I'm thinking about you all day! And maybe for our 30th we can spend it together! :)

LOVE YA

A Piece of Spence Farm

My grandfather owned a produce/flower/christmas tree Farm in Woburn MA. He had lots of land in Canada where he shipped his trees from, he sold lots of corn and tomatoes and had many green houses full of flowers. He had a building where he sold retail produce and plants. The parking lot was always well landscaped with lots of flowers. As a grandchild most of my highschool work experience was from working at "the farm". (not as much as the other grandchildren b/c I lived overseas, but whenever we were in the states, he was willing to give us work) Spence Farm is in the process of being sold off now. All the land is almost completely gone now. :( This makes all of the family a little sad. We all have such great fond memories of "the Farm" and it is leaving a legacy behind in the Boston area.
When I was visiting the Boston area in May 2010 my aunt said I should go over and take some perennials from the over gown parking lot, that once used to look so pretty. I was so happy to be able to take a little piece of Spence Farm with me back to Scranton.
I had a perfect place for them in my front yard by the sidewalk where there happened to be 2 big holes. I couldn't wait to plant them and watch them grow. Of course Richard reluctantly helped me dig the plants up from the parking lot area, then figured out how to store them in the trunk without getting the trunk too dirty, then helped me replant them in our front yard. (and that my friends is true love!!!) i was so happy. Little did I realize that we would be moving in about 15 months. I was wondering if they would even come back the next year or if they actually did survive the trip to Scranton. But spring came in 2011 and lo and behold my plants came back, blossoming and looking great! I was ECSTATIC!!!!
Then we decided to move! Then we decided to rent an apartment in an apartment complex! Then it happened to be 1700 miles away! how was I going to take the plants with me? Would they even survive? Where would I put them when I got here? So many questions . . .  But I knew leaving them was dumb - then i was sure to not have them. I might as well try.
So after we packed the truck, I convinced Richard to dig them back up and put them in 5 gallon buckets with dirt and put them in the back of the truck. And at our stops, he even took them out of the truck so they could get a little bit of sun! :) (and once again, true LOVE)
By the time we got here they were looking pretty sad. :( As soon as we could we bought little planter bucket things and some more potting soil and replanted them. We do have a perfect little ledge for them where they get sun. They look terrible, and I'm afraid I will probably only have one, maybe two survive. I don't even know if they will come back b/c they are in pots. even though my family has a green thumb - i do not know that much about them. Wouldn't it be cool one day to plant them in my very own yard and always tell people that they are from my grandfather's farm!?!?!?!?! I hope they live . . .

really, lets be realistic - this one probably won't survive.
The only green you see, is Scranton grass/weeds growing strong

Among all those dead things in the bottom of the picture
I promise, there is little tiny new things springing up!
I hope its not grass!!!!! :(

I think this one might make it!

And I really hope this one does, it's the most promising

Anyone have any knowledge of whether they will survive in pots? I don't even know what they are. :( (my auntie terre might though) Should I really try to get them into the ground somewhere?

Red Light Green Light

I heard other parents talk about their kids having conversations with them in the car about stop lights while they are driving. I thought - Carson will never get to that stage. . . but alas he has. Just since last week he started noticing when cars are stopped at lights and when we stop and go at lights. But it's not as simple a concept as I thought it would be!!!! I have never heard other parents talk about this - but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem.
I started out explaining - "see the light is red, so we stop, when it turns green then we can go" then I realize we are in the turning lane, so we just get a tiny arrow that he probably can't see.
Other scenario - we are going straight - so our light turns green, but he can see out the side and notices the red light for the other direction as we drive by, and is wondering why we are going if he sees the red light.
or a different scenario - we are going right and turn when there is no traffic coming even though our light is still red.
How do you explain all these concepts? I always thought it would be so simple - but it's really not! He yells everytime we come to a stop - "Car stop, Car Stop!!!!" And I say "when it turns green then we can go - oh wait, can you see that tiny arrow?" or "make sure you look straight ahead through daddy's head to see our green light".
Oh well, i guess by the time he's 16 he will understand the concept. . .