A little update!

As you may have noticed I've been a little MIA on this ol' blog site! It makes me a little sad especially when I scroll through older posts and I love having those memories to look back on. I don't really know why I've been not posting either. Just not feeling too inspired lately I guess. We have had tons going on and I guess a lot of it I just didn't know how to write about and put it out for everyone to see. WE are going through so much change and full of life lived here. I would love to say I will be posting more and that I will post a certain amount per month but I don't want to put those stipulations on myself b/c I feel the words have to just come and flow and I can't force it!!! So here's to hoping inspiration comes back to me so I will have more memories all recorded! :)

Peyton will be 5 months this weekend! He is such a fun baby for me. He is so chill about things. Always happy. Doesn't seem to be as good or consistent of a sleeper but still nothing to really complain about. I love watching his amazement at his brother's antics. I've started cereal and a few other foods. This guy loves to eat!!! He gets so excited when he sees his bottle or when you're feeding him food, and he can really throw that bottle or food down. I hope he stays that way!!!! He is starting to show such personality.

Carson is now 5 yrs old! He had a blast at his party. We did our traditional donut breakfasts on their actual birthday. We all look forward to that. WE had a little lego themed party, although it was very low key. I basically just wanted him to have a bunch of friends over and play and have fun. And he did just that. I think we had about 30 ppl here and our house is not big! But the kids just had a blast. I just did hot dogs, pretzels, chips, pasta salad and veggies/fruit! Nothing big. Richard made the lego cake and it looked so cool. I am a firm believer that you don't need to do a huge production b/c I'm the personality that gets so stressed out about that. I don't do good with huge decorations that I've made and things like that. Some mothers love doing that, and I get stressed out, so I just do simple and mostly try to show my kids how special they are in other ways. I've decided that I love the 5yr old stage. He is so interactive and fun to spend time with. He is independent with everything but loves to have company in doing anything. His little mind is processing things and he's learning about life. It's so fun to watch and interact with that.

This cracks me up b/c he had a following of all his friends the whole party

Just some of the people at our party to celebrate the fun loving boy Carson is

The boy who changed our lives forever
and made us parents

Landon is talking so much. He was always the quieter shy one, but lately he will talk your ear off, even to a stranger or in public. I think he starting to realize the attention he can get that way. Still so goofy and adores his brother. 

I love watching Carson and Landon be best friends and play together so much. And now Peyton will sit in the room and just watch and follow them and laugh at all their funny antics towards him (which just eggs the boys on more which could get dangerous). They care for him so much and we're just one big happy family of 5 now. :)

There is lots of change at the church. Richard is taking on a lot more responsibility with being an elder now, but he still also has his full time job. We're really praying through and learning a balance of work, study, church, family, community and discipling. Feels really busy but it's all a good busy. Hopefully there are still some changes coming up as far as making a living goes, but I'm just trying to be patient.
God is ripping my heart apart and teaching me so much about my sinfulness and selfishness in my heart with our new roles. I am humbled so much lately, but then amazed by his Grace that he forgives and loves me the same. And I pray that my heart will be changed to give myself freely and to trust God to provide for my needs both emotional and physical. My challenge word for the year was GIVE and mostly I feel like I am needing to give my time and energy completely serving little kids. Or giving up expectations I have for Richard to free him up to be what he needs to be in the church. Not how I expected to be "giving" this year.

I hope to be back on this more but you never know. Life is exciting and fun and joyful, but there are hard things too. So I need this outlet to process things and then keep memories.