I need to be careful how I write things. I want to be honest with things, but I also don't want to sound complainy or pessimistic. (which in reality I probably shouldn't just write anything b/c I do feel complainy sometimes.) I was talking with my life group ladies last night about things and realized I need to change my attitude about this whole thing. Pregnancy just isn't my favorite thing. Which I know is appalling to most that I'm admitting that on the internet for everyone to read. but hey, it's the truth. I love growing a baby, and I'm amazed by God's miracle but there's just something about how my entire being is completely changed that it's just hard for me to be positive about it all. :( (sorry if I offend people with that)
But I think in all of this God is really doing a work in my heart in more areas than one.
This pregnancy as is typical for all 2nd, 3rd, and 4th pregnancies (so I hear) I have gained weight faster, my belly has grown faster and bigger. This is hard for me to accept. But I was convicted of my self-consumption - how I look or am going to look. It comes down to wanting people to see ME and not my JESUS. I'm really praying for forgiveness for my worry about how I look and want Jesus to Shine through!!! But I'm also a work in progress.
I said last update i was starting to turn a corner, then I had one of the worst weeks yet as far as nausea goes. So that was a little disappointing and discouraging. But now that I've hit 14 weeks I think it's safe to say that the nausea is slowly going away. Still extremely tired but not near as nauseas.
I've started running a little again. It's hard for me to run. It's hard to get the energy to get out there, then once I'm done exercising I don't have any energy left for the day. I know it's important. But I think I need to give up the illusions that I'm going to be a 30 week prego momma running every day. It's just not for me. And I have to accept that it's ok.
It's finally summer weather here. It's sunny often and warm out. I am really looking forward to my days more. I'm starting to feel more and more normal again and with that I'm excited about this summer. I'm also sorta hoping it goes by fast. But I am excited to be at the pool, to feel sun on my skin and to enjoy watching the boys playing outside for hours on end.