This weekend I had hopes to tell all of my blogger friends that we were adding another baby to our family. But God had other plans. I'm hesitant in posting about this, but my blog has always been somewhere for me to work through things and find support and comfort. It's also where I want to tell God's story of Grace in our lives through his leading - and this is a circumstance that he has brought into our lives and I want to share it with you all.
I started having some complications earlier this week only being about 5 or 6 weeks along, and saw a midwife. She took my blood and called back later that afternoon and confirmed that my progesterone levels are not high enough to sustain a pregnancy so to lay low and take it easy and let my body do what is natural in the process. I will go back and get my blood drawn again to check for sure - but all signs are not positive.
I'm very sad and experiencing some very raw real emotions. It's not fun and not what I expected either.
Our church body has been wonderful. They've helped me clear my schedule, provided food and childcare for the boys when necessary. I feel love and support from many people. For someone like me that is the best form of medicine for my soul. Feeling loved and that people care and show me that. Letting me be open and talk about it and being understanding. That's how I cope.
I'm sure many more emotions are still yet to come as we work through this.
Overall - I want to stress that I am at peace. I have never doubted God's goodness and His peace and grace have been sustaining me. We appreciate your prayers and concern. I find it rather ironic that October happens to be pregnancy loss and infant loss awareness month!
Please keep us in your prayers to trust in God for his timing, his wisdom, and comfort.
I'll keep you all posted
11 comments:
I so wish I could be there with you right now!! I love you so much!! You are so strong, God will give grace, strength and hope. I'm glad to hear how well your friends are taking care of you and I will have to just love and support you from a distence. I care so deeply for you, but you are so right about God taking the best care of you!! Love you a million times over! Praying!
I agree with Jerelyn - I just want to be with you right now. I never wanted or thought my girls would have to go through this very sad experience, but I can confirm that the Lord is faithful and He will give you the strength to continue on. My thoughts and prayers are with you moment by moment. I LOVE YOU!!!
I appreciate your honesty and the emotions and the faith that you have. I think putting it on the blog only makes sense. Will be praying for you and Richard tonight as I rest.
Praying for you and Richard as well.
So so sorry to see this tonight! I have been there. Relax and take it easy!!! I'm so glad you have wonderful support. God bless you and your family.
We love you and are praying for you through this hard time.
Praying for you, Jess. Thank you for sharing this real part of your life. You'll be in my thoughts.
Hi Jessica,
I don't know if you remember me from Northland, but I stumpled upon your blog from another blog. I'm so sorry you have had to experience the loss of your little one. Don't ever be afraid to share this part of your journey with others. I was surprised when I lost a little one about a year ago how much talking to others helped. Especially since so many other mothers out there have experienced the same loss. It's okay to grieve, and know that although the loss will always be with you, it does get easier. I'll pray for you and your family.
Melissa Kolmus
Jess, Was so sad to hear this. I know it must be extremely difficult to go through. Tim and I will continue to pray that you can trust in God and experience His peace that passes all understanding.
Hi, You don't know me, but I'm a friend of Meaghan Easterhouse. I saw your comment about a miscarriage on her blog...and came over to your blog to read your story. I, too, miscarried my third baby, 2 1/2 years ago. It was right after an emotional, difficult move, and while my husband was working out of state for a couple of months. Our situations sound similar! It was such a painful time, with such raw emotions and it completely turned my world upside down for a long time. I just wanted to say that I am so very sorry for your loss, and I understand what you are going through. And, I CARE. You and your family will be in my prayers during this difficult time. Know that you are not alone. And it's true, many people will simply not know what to say, or will say ALL the wrong things. It's so important to mourn this loss...you are so right: you lost a BABY, not a pregnancy, not an idea....but your precious child. Sending hugs across the internet. : ) ---Jenny
jennyo - Your comment means the world to me. I would love to stay in touch with you - do you have an email
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