A little update on the pregnancy.

I write this post with a disclaimer. The topic I am about to write about first of all might not interest most people (and others it is very interesting). Second of all - it's sensitive because everyone's story is different. Everyone has an opinion and everyone thinks they know the way for everyone else. I have always been open here and I'm a firm believer that every mother chooses whats best for her and her baby and her situation. Everyone's lives, situations, bodies, experiences and opinions are all different. I simply am telling MY story. I have sisters, sister in laws, and many friends who have chosen completely different paths in many areas and I'm ok with that - I think you should be too. The way we give birth should not in any way define our status as mothers. We need to support each other as much as possible.

With that hopefully explained well, I will proceed.
I am currently one day away from being 33 weeks pregnant.  It gets closer and closer and that makes me happy. But on the other hand if you ask me how I'm doing be ready for my honest answer. Everything is healthy as far as I know and we have no concerns about anything. That is the good. The bad in two words so as not to drag it on - BIG and TIRED. :) (I think you'll get the drift with that)

This is the story I would love to tell about this pregnancy. Let's step back to my previous births, which I've written about here if you want more detail. Carson was an emergency c-section after getting to the pushing point of delivering. Landon was a successful Vaginal Birth After C-Section (VBAC), although 6 weeks early. Fast forward to this pregnancy. We are in another state with new doctors/midwives and new hospital.
Of course having already delivered VBAC successfully I was fully anticipating being able to do that again with no problem and no questions asked. I am using a midwife for the first time who delivers at the hospital in town. I have been more than happy with this clinic and love them so much. But b/c I'm delivering in the hospital I have to have approval for a vbac with the OB's that this midwife clinic works with b/c technically I'm more at risk for a uterus rupturing. I met with the OB when I was about 21 weeks pregnant. At that time I am required to sign a consent knowing the risks involved in trying a vbac again. At this appointment the OB asked me if I knew what kind of closure I had for my c-section. Of course I have no idea b/c it wasn't a big deal where we delivered before. He told us we could go ahead with our plan, but try to get the records from the hospital so that he knew what the situation would be when I go to hospital.
For anyone who doesn't know there is a single layer closure and a double layer closure. Some doctors/hospitals will not allow vbac when you have a single layer closure =claiming that you are at a higher risk for the uterus rupturing. (which has proven to not necessarily be the case).
After trying to for more than 2 months to get my medical records and finally getting them, we find out that I am not allowed to do a VBAC under these OB's b/c I have a single layer closure!!!! Of course hearing this news at 31 weeks pregnant is not necessarily what I want to hear. My options at this time are 1)schedule a c-section 2) home birth b/c they do not have such policy here in CO or 3) drive over an hour drive to a hospital in Denver who will allow it no problem. Not necessarily good news to me.
Richard and I spent a week of praying and researching our options and conversing for a long time with midwife (who happens to be as frustrated as we are or more so).
After a week and half of waiting and discussing my midwife drafted a whole document of my case to present to the OB once again and fight my case and also start the process for changing the policy for everyone else. And God did a complete miracle. Something I had prayed about but wondered if it was ever possible. The doctor changed his mind, will let me labor on my own and try to deliver VBAC once again and the process has started for changing the policy in their practice!!!!!! This my friends is a miracle in my eyes.
I am so thankful and grateful to God for giving me this gracious gift, for allowing us to continue as planned and working this small miracle for me.

Who knows how this delivery will go. Who knows what will happen. Both my other babies were completely different and both had such unexpected situations that it's hard for me to have any expectations or hopes for anything. But I am more than happy to be working with my midwife solely, and I trust her judgement completely. And I will completely rely on God to work all things out for his Glory and our Good.

Landon turns 3

This weekend we celebrated Landon's 3rd Birthday. He turned 3 on Sept 8th. I know I've written about it a few times here but each time his birthday rolls around I marvel at how everything happened for his birth. How unexpected it was, how scared I was, how our family and church family came around us to help us out, how unprepared I was, how thankful I was to deliver VBAC, how hard it was to leave my baby at hospital in NICU, how much I saw God work all things out for His glory and our good! It's a marvelous story. Ask me about it sometime or go read here and here. :)

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Landon is such a different person that Carson just like any parent says about their children's personalities. He is goofy, and easy going, intuitive and very intelligent, noticing many things throughout the day, and remembering things that I'm amazed at. His coordination is really improving and he's getting much more able to hold his own in the brother-wrestling matches. His laugh is utterly contagious and he melts my heart when he asks me to hold his hand to walk up any stairs (since I can't carry him anymore). Any time he starts to cry b/c he's hurt or sad or upset the first thing he says is "I want my blankie". The instant he gets it he stops crying as if it has some magic powers to make him feel better. I love his red hair and he still has those toddler chubby hands that I love looking at and holding. I am so so utterly thankful for this little man.

 Anyone who has spent anytime with this little guy figures out fast that he is an "accessories man"! For some reason he always wants something put on him. Whether its socks, gloves, hats, masks, capes, shoes, glasses - you name it - he wants to wear it. It's such a funny thing for me. So for this birthday we got our fill of "accessories" for this little guy. He has a miriad of options now, a fedora spiderman hat, cape and mask, ninja mask and a few other things. And you betchya he is loving having so many options. He also loves swords and he is in heaven now that we have more than one sword in the household.:)

 I love celebrating this little guy! 

He makes me smile every day with something he says. (he also makes me pull

my hair out every day. :) )

And I'm beyond thankful God blessed us with him!

Here is a video and I thought it was so funny! I've never heard Carson sing any song

before (he's not a music guy) but it was so funny

hearing him and his friend sing to Landon

29 Years!

I really need to catch up on things going on in our life. this weekend a bunch more things are happening that I will want to blog about and I need to make sure I get this done first. :)

September 1st was my 29th Birthday! If you know me at all, you know birthdays in general are a big deal and I don't necessarily shy away from telling people when my birthday is! :)

Anyways - needless to say - I was exhausted for my birthday and we had just moved the day before into a new place, and I was 29 and half weeks pregnant. Last year if you remember we went on a huge trip to Moab, UT and camped over night then stayed in Moab one night without the boys! That was grand!

This year was nice and sweet and not as big of a deal. But in the end, I have a great husband and family and group of friends who made me feel so special. It's so fun to celebrate another year of life that God has given you.
B/c we had just moved and our kitchen was almost inaccessible and b/c it's my favorite thing to do - we went out for breakfast to my favorite place Snooze, in old town Fort Collins. It was amazing as usual. :)

Later that night Richard had completely surprised me with a little get together of some of my dearest friends with cake and ice cream. And I really was surprised. It was so nice.

I did have my semi annual emotional breakdown that afternoon - but what can you expect, I was tired, we had just moved, my house was in shambles, and I was 29 weeks preggo. :) It's laughable now and will probably always be held against me. :)
All in all - it was a birthday I will never forget. Thank you to everyone who worked so hard at making me feel special that day!

Also - later in the week I had a dinner out with some of my dear dear running group friends. We try to go out for everyone's birthday and I love it! It was so fun for me since I don't see them very regularly anymore. They are together all the time running many times throughout the week. But it just made me even more excited about getting out there again hopefully before the end of the year. :) Thank you guys!!!!

A new place to call home

Yes, it's officially been an entire week since we have relocated. It already feels like home.
We moved just about a half mile or so from our old place. but we moved to a much bigger place. It still only has 2 bedrooms, but has an extra room in the basement and one car attatched garage and bedrooms are on second level, and the front door opens up to a nice outside grassy area. I have already been enjoying the new set up so much. No carpets in the dining room? Actually sweeping and mopping are some of my "favorite chores" and now the whole downstairs in laminate flooring!!!

The boys in the front yard one morning

The week leading up to the move was a whirlwind. We didn't find out we were moving until exactly a week before we were needing to be out of our old place. Which in my opinion is a much better way to move. None of this drawn out business of packing boxes for a whole month. The monday before the move I had done too much and was really not feeling well at all. I remember thinking literally, "will I even survive this week and everything that needs to be demanded of my body?" I had the baby I watch 5 days that week, 2 crazy boys, and one baby in my belly. And it was going to be HOT out! I prayed to God that night that he would give me unexplained strength and work all things out!
As the week progressed I was amazed. I had so much help. From a lot of people taking the boys for me for hours on end, to others coming to help me pack and move boxes around. Richard was also able to do more at nights than usual, and we were so thankful. Saturday, Aug 31st rolled around and we had so much help for the move. Another friend took my boys for the whole morning. I felt like I hardly had to do anything besides get the food. We had so much help and I was truly blessed by that!
Somehow I'm still exhausted - but felt relatively well through the whole transition and I know it's b/c of my community of friends and church around me that helped us through this time in our lives and God's grace to me through his church.

What the kitchen looked like right after everything was brought over

Now we've been in our new house for a week! The boys love it. We have 2 toilets and its so funny to hear the boys ask "which one should I use?" or "We have so many bathrooms". :) There is plenty of room for them to roam and play. And we are settling in so nicely. We look forward to blessing many through this condo and being a light to our complex. We still have some unpacking and organzing to do and it's going much slower than previous moves, but I'm trying to be ok with that and realize that we have a long time to do it and there is no rush.

Now the pictures (that are specifically for my mom and dad who I know are dying to see it)

The outside and front door

The kitchen looking from front door

Dining room looking from kitchen (front door
on the left in the back)

Living room (looking from front door, kitchen is
just to the left of picture) Stairs to the second
floor

Basement "play room". Storage/laundry room is
on the right in the corner of picture

Boys bedroom

our bedroom (and Landon taking a nap
on our bed :) )