A little Lost????

Yikes! I cannot believe it's been over 3 weeks since my last post. I don't know if I've ever gone that long since I started blogging! CRAZY! Did you think I was lost???!?!
Life is just whizzing by I guess.

I'm now officially 12 weeks! And what a nice milestone to make it to. I am noticing a huge improvement in my appetite and nausea! For which I think we all are thankful, maybe especially Richard. :)

This whole last 6 months or more have been a big whirlwind of emotions, loneliness, highs and lows, guilt for getting pregnant easier than others I know, and everything in between
When I announced last that I was pregnant we could not be more thankful and excited. But with that came a ton of fears. This has been a big long process for me. A process of trusting God that He is good no matter what happens, of fully relying on him. We had our first normal O/B appointment last week and that was not without it's "drama". I know it's common to not be able to find the heartbeat at 11 1/2 weeks, but that was my worst nightmare. Thankfully the ultrasound proved that everything is just fine. But it was another emotional battle for me - trusting God that He is good and is holding me, giving me strength.

 There have been a few dark days in this first trimester.  Fighting fear along with extreme exhaustion, nausea, weird appetite and snow/cold, and my two boys and another baby I watched - resulted in a lot of dark sinful, selfish moments for me, sadly enough. And all of this is probably the reason for my lack of keeping up on this blog.

Excuse the terrible picture. My 4 yr old took it. It was a little
hard to edit to get this good. :)
But here I am at 12 weeks.
Bigger each time! ha

But this last weekend I noticed a change. I started feeling better which has really given me new vitality and a whole new readiness to face this world. To face these days raising my two boys. To face head on the responsibility I have with them and my house and my husband. To beg for forgiveness for not trusting God and relying on his strength and his goodness. I have seen an ulgy side of me and I don't want to go back there. But I'm thankful that God loves me and forgives me and gives me another chance to rely on him.

So here's to maybe a new start in blogging. And hopefully a new start to viewing my days and the world. Relying on God's strength and trusting him!

Commissioning?????

Commission: The act of granting certain powers or the authority to carry out a particular task or duty.

This is what we got to experience last weekend. My younger sister and her husband were Commissioned by their home church to go to Spain and give people the gospel. To tell others about a loving God who sent his son to save them and give them eternal life in a kingdom with Himself.

The Fulks
My sister, Juli, and her beautiful family

We were so thankful to be able to be a part of that ceremony. I think it was the first time it really hit my mom, twin and I - that we are saying goodbye to our little sister for a very long time. She will be so far away. She is leaving the comforts and familiarity of this country to go and serve the people in Spain b/c she loves them and wants them to know the loving God of the Bible. 

All the family that was able to make it

The original 4 J's. :) (Jeffrey, Jerelyn, Juli, and Jess)

The Mayfields plus Scott :)

 It was a wonderful weekend. My twin surprised me. I didn't think she was going to make it and but in the end I was the only one that didn't know she was coming. All us original 6 Mayfields were there together to celebrate this new stage of life with my sister. We made many memories and enjoyed our time so much. 

I was so happy she came. She helpled me a lot
with my boys

SISTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 The Day of the Commissioning Service was pretty long for the boys in a new place - and he was just so tired by the end of the day. He just climbed right up there and fell asleep immediately. 

I had to post this one. Cute little Cousin Dominic got ahold of Landon's underwear and put it on his head. He is affectionately known by Carson now as Underwear man. :) (a super hero of course :) )

We will miss you Fulk Family! And we will pray for you often

Easter 2013

This year was lots of fun. We spent the day at church with the toddler nursery and then with great friends the rest of the afternoon. We're so thankful for the friendships we've developed here. Our weekly Life group have really come like a family to us. And its so fun to spend the holidays with them. 

My two boys in their cute outfits

The Dinner Table! Awesome food and fellowship

 We also had an egg hunt which was so fun for 

all the kids

Now very early tomorrow morning I head to Minneapolis. I am traveling to be a part of my sister's commisioning service. Her and her husband and two boys are on their way to Spain as Missionaries.

I don't know when the last time is that I will see them again b/c we will be so spread out now. So I'm going to cherish this time with her and her two boys.  

It's also the last time I will see my parents. I know I keep saying that and then I keep seeing them. But this really will be the last time b/c they leave very soon after that. So it will be a fun time with family. but also a sad time. WE will cherish the times and memories and they will hold us until we get to see each other again. I can't believe their time in the states has gone by already. Crazy! I've gotten spoiled with being able to call my mom whenever and seeing her so often. 

I'm thankful for the time we did have together.

So next time I post will be all about the trip. :)

Good News

I write this post with just a little hesitancy - but not for the reason that you might think.  I'm really excited and absolutely thankful to be able to announce here that God has chosen to bless our family with another baby. I am 8 weeks pregnant.
As I post this, I hope you can see a little bit of what God has taught me the last 6 months. You see, because of what I've been through the past 6 months I understand a little bit more the pain and hurt and sadness a post like this can be for some people. My eyes have been opened to people and situations and people's circumstances that I want to write about this rather delicately. I, in no way, am taking this gift from God for granted or lightly. I know more than ever how blessed I am. And I understand a little better the pain that comes when God chooses another path for some people. So I just want people to understand that I don't want to sound boastful or throw it in your face. But . . .

God did choose to give me another child. And for that I am brought to tears with gratefulness. Every day I'm in awe of God's plan for my life - but I also want to make sure I keep his bigger picture for mankind in view and I'm honored to be a tiny sliver of a part of it. I have a lot of happiness about it - but it is a weighted joy this time around. My experience this time is totally different. I battle fear literally all day long. It's almost like I am just expecting this pregnancy to end sometime. I know that fear does not come from the LORD and that he gives us power and a sound mind. But it's really hard not to worry right now. I've made it to 8 weeks which is over 2 weeks longer than I got to keep my last baby, so that is a good feeling. My due date is 11/12/13 which I think is cool.

A little less that two weeks ago, we had quite a scare for about a week long. My hormone levels were low and not rising the "normal" way. We had to wait until 7 weeks before we could know anything for sure in an ultra sound. So I waited a very long week. It was a hard week. I had many people praying for me and God sustained me and gave me hope and peace through that time. And finally,  last weds we had an ultra sound done and I saw a perfect little jelly bean. My baby was the exact size it is supposed to be and a good strong heart beat. I was in tears with that news after keeping it in for a week long. So relieved and utterly grateful God chose to bless me in that way. I still get teared up thinking about that day b/c of how impacting it was to me. God has chosen another path for me of new life and I am beyond amazed and thankful.

So please celebrate with us this new life. Rejoice with us. Because we cannot stop praising our God for his good gifts. In the trials and in the good times He has remained faithful.