This weekend I had hopes to tell all of my blogger friends that we were adding another baby to our family. But God had other plans. I'm hesitant in posting about this, but my blog has always been somewhere for me to work through things and find support and comfort. It's also where I want to tell God's story of Grace in our lives through his leading - and this is a circumstance that he has brought into our lives and I want to share it with you all.
I started having some complications earlier this week only being about 5 or 6 weeks along, and saw a midwife. She took my blood and called back later that afternoon and confirmed that my progesterone levels are not high enough to sustain a pregnancy so to lay low and take it easy and let my body do what is natural in the process. I will go back and get my blood drawn again to check for sure - but all signs are not positive.
I'm very sad and experiencing some very raw real emotions. It's not fun and not what I expected either.
Our church body has been wonderful. They've helped me clear my schedule, provided food and childcare for the boys when necessary. I feel love and support from many people. For someone like me that is the best form of medicine for my soul. Feeling loved and that people care and show me that. Letting me be open and talk about it and being understanding. That's how I cope.
I'm sure many more emotions are still yet to come as we work through this.
Overall - I want to stress that I am at peace. I have never doubted God's goodness and His peace and grace have been sustaining me. We appreciate your prayers and concern. I find it rather ironic that October happens to be pregnancy loss and infant loss awareness month!
Please keep us in your prayers to trust in God for his timing, his wisdom, and comfort.
I'll keep you all posted