Mom's should never get sick

So my question the last day was - Who takes care of you when you're sick????

As a kid growing up I was known as the baby/ whimp when it came to being sick. I would lay on the couch and whine and moan, and I always wanted someone there sitting with me. :( Kinda like my mom, her and I both like to be with someone and just lay on the couch and moan and get lots of sympathy.

Wednesday night Richard and I both started feeling really sick. and the rest of the night is history. And keep in mind we only have one bathroom. :( It was a long night for both of us. i was just dreading the next day. Thankfully both boys slept good that night. All day I wanted to just sit on the couch and moan and have someone visit me. But nope - "mommying" never stops, and b/c Richard was sicker than me - no rest for me. I did get a small nap in, but still had to feed the baby, and take care of Carson. It was a long day for the Gardner house.

I guess my lazy sick days are over. :( No more laying on the couch moaning with someone visiting. I'm the one comforting everyone now. So sad.

Does not feel like Christmas eve to me - and I still have so much to do to get ready.

Now that I'm feeling better - presents to finish wrapping, food to make, and lots and lots of cleaning for my in laws coming tonight.

Tomorrow should be so much fun with family. Hoping the sickness is all behind us so we can enjoy Christmas together.

Sick Toddler

Carson has been very sick this week. There is only one other time he has been sick that he just lays around and that was only a high fever.

On monday night he started throwing up at supper time and didn't stop until about 11pm. :( He was so sad to watch. He had never experienced that before and the fear I saw in his eyes every time he would start to gag and I would put the bowl up to his mouth. He would shake his head and look at me as if to say " No, not again, make it stop"!!!!!!!! He would just scream in between gags until that episode was over and then huddle down in my lap and fall back asleep. It was awful as a mother to watch. I kept saying "it's ok, don't worry". But he still looked so afraid and confused about what was going on. I just wanted to throw up for him. He slept with us that night for the first time ever. but I didn't want to be running into his room ever 15 min to hold the bowl up to his mouth, plus I didn't want him to be all alone. Thankfully he stopped dry heaving about 11 and he slept through the night with us. The next day on tues he was at least keeping liquids down, but didn't eat much more than a handful of kix dry cereal.

Today he isn't much better, except I've gotten some gatorade and a few saltines in him today. Still lays around sleeping. After a while tries to get up and play and then climbs back into my lap to rest. :( I keep offering all kinds of food - food that's good for an upset stomach and food that I know he likes. neither of which does he take more than a bite of. I'm just thankful for the 2 and half glasses of gatorade he's drank.

I hope I get my spunky little toddler back soon. and that no one else in the family gets this bug!!!!

Meanwhile - we've had 2 pajama days at our house and I haven't accomplished very much at all. Phew - how can I be so tired though. :)

I love Mail

If anyone knows me well, you know that I LOVE MAIL!!!!

I blame it on my mother and the fact that we grew up in Ecuador.

Mail getting to Ecuador or back from Ecuador to the US always took months. Back then there was no email or internet especially down there. So I had the good ol' pen pals. :) I kept in touch with several friends here in the states, but I would write a letter and then it would be a few months before I heard back from them. The average time for a letter to travel was about 6 weeks I think. But it was always a big event when we would go to the Post Office. We always had to go into town, or the capitol to get it. And that was usually no more than once week. so it was always so much fun to see what letters or cards were waiting in the mail for me to read and write back. I love writing letters, but probably b/c I understand that in order to receive a letter I need to write a letter.

I still remember the day we got email set up in our house and I got to write my first one to a friend. It was so cool!!!!! I was about 13 or 14 I think. Since then I love seeing that there is an email in my inbox, whether it was for work, or junk email, or personal email. Its' so fun.

My favorite time of day is when I hear the mailman open my box out front and then walk away. He comes early to my house usually before 11 and I love going to see what mail is there. even if it's junk mail I get excited to see mail in the box. And then just as soon as I check it I can't wait until I get to check it again tomorrow. Sometimes around 3ish in the afternoon, I am disappointed that I can't go check mail again, b/c I already did it as soon as i heard him. I'm kinda weird like that.

This time of year is so much fun b/c there is always something in the mail. And Usually its cards from friends.

B/c my mom is even worse than me about any type of mail I had purposed to write to her in Ecuador. I know her mother used to write to her every week. I need to be honest here and admit that I have really gotten bad since we do facebook and skype a lot but I know how much it means to her to get a hand written letter from me and I really need to make sure I am better about writing to her again.

And just remember if you want to receive mail you need to write letters to people. :)

The coveted 3 Months

Landon has finally made it to 3 months old. I LOVE IT WHEN THEY turn 3 months old. :) Some mothers love the baby stage, but I feel like I am waiting until they hit 3 months old. They start smiling so much at you, recognizing you, seeing you across the room, staying awake more, and my babies have both been on a great schedule by 3 months. On Dec 8th Landon turned 3 months old. He is growing so much too. Way faster than Carson.
When I think back to that first week with him in the hospital I just and so thankful that I'm past those days, and things are going so good now. He sleeps about 8 hrs now, and most days goes down for all his naps very good. He loves being held a lot more than Carson but also seems to be content just sitting and watching us.

I had a WIC apt for his 3 months, and he was already 14lbs!!! I couldn't believe it. :)

Carson loves him more and more each day too. I am so much better now at getting out of the house and thinking through everything I need.

I just have been overwhelmed lately with the gift that God has given me with these 2 boys, and am thankful every day for them.

Christmas Tradition

Richard and I haven't started too many traditions for Christmas season yet. We are still in the stage of traveling to see other relatives over the holidays. Which come to think of it - we will probably do forever b/c our families are so spread out.

Some of our traditions include:

1. driving around on Christmas eve night looking at all the lights in our pjs

2. getting an ornament with a frame and the year and putting our family picture from that year in it

3. my all time favorite (b/c my mom never let me do it when I was little) - giving eachother a present on Christmas eve to open that night!!!!! (and we decided it will be our little secret, and we won't let our kids do it either, just between the 2 of us) :)

4. We always get a real Christmas tree. Mostly b/c I'm a Spence. (my mom's dad owned a farm and made his livelihood by selling Christmas trees in the winter both wholesale and retail).

Some of the food we have:

1. Almond ring

2. Homemade Caramels

3. Cookies of course

I'm not very crafty or decorative minded. I don't know if it's b/c I'm not amibitious enough to put effort into it or just b/c I don't think it's that important. But our house is simply decorated. WE are finding that this time of year gets less and less exciting as you get older. Maybe the reality of life and the fact that presents don't just appear under the tree, and the busyness of life still continues with responsibilites. But as my boys get older I want it to be special for them and enjoyable. I purpose in my heart that no matter where we are financially or location wise I will always make Christmas special for my boys so they can have the great family memories that I grew up with.

Merry Christmas!!! Let's not forget what we are actually celebrating this time of year - The gospel that gives us hope every day.

Selah

I normally wouldn't post something like this - but God has just been impressing on my mind over and over again to be thankful for my children and not complain b/c they are truly a blessing from him, and I love them with all my life. But also God loves them more than me. SO many thoughts running through my mind right now. How would I react if God chose in his love to have this road for me.

If you don't know the story behind this song - I suggest that you go and read about it from the Group Selah. this video will bring you to tears and make you go and hug your children extra long and thank God for them.

In the last month God has really been bringing people into my life dealing with difficulties of life regarding their children. God help to always trust you and be thankful for the gifts you have given me in my children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CnUtVY35o

Toddler bed

So many of you know that we just moved Carson into a Toddler bed about 2 weeks. Boy how I dreaded this transition. I thought he was too little still or that he wouldn't understand the concept and never stay in bed. I was anticipating the worst.

Well needless to say - it went fine without a glitch and he is so good at it. The first few days he did great. Then at naptime, I heard him starting to play on the bed before he went to sleep - I just had to go in and "speak sternly" (if you know what I mean) to him and I never heard him again. A couple of the mornings he woke up and was at the door crying when we would go in, but after a few "stern talks" he just stays in bed until I go in and get him. It's amazing. He waits there on his bed, until one of us opens the door and tells him he can get out of bed. "Well that was easy!!!!"

Before we moved him a friend had told me to not expect him to stay in the normal sleeping position, that he would move all over th eplace and not be under the blankets etc. Well I had been prepared for that, but was pleasantly surprised that he did stay in his bed and lay flat on his back pretty much the entire night. We did go in a place the blankets back over him a few times, but that's it.

Well last night was a different story - we went in like we normally do to check on him before we went to bed - and this is what we found -

How does this happen? Was he up and then didn't make it back into bed? did he slip out? I wish so bad we had a video camera in his room to watch what went on. He didn't even flinch or wake up when I picked him up and laid him back down. So weird!!!!!

Thanksgiving

Oh Boy! did I have a great weekend. All the Mayfield siblings were together again. It's so fun when we all get together, we could sit around and just talk forever. I really feel like my sisters and I are closer now than ever. Probably a combination of maturity and in the same stage of life. Juli and Scott live in Minneapolis - so we hardly ever see them. And my brother Jeff is at Northland. Jerelyn lives 3 hours from here. My Mayfield Grandparents were also able to make the drive from IL for a little bit of the time.

Jerelyn and I put the meal together, and it all turned out so great. I love cooking with her and preparing the big meal. Our boys do so well together, and Carson was WORN out by the end of the weekend. We got some shopping time in, jewelry making time, talking time, it was a filled weekend, but so so worth it. We also got to meet my brother's first girlfriend this weekend. That was nice and a new dynamic for our family. :)

Sadly I never took one single picture the entire time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe it. I think Juli took a couple so I will have to steal them from her.

On our way home we stopped to see some good good friends, the Hoersch family, that have since moved to North Carolina. We had a great few hours just chatting and catching up with them. it's so nice to have great friends that encourage, challenge, and help you.

What a good weekend.

Now on to Christmas. Tis the season to be busy. :) but it's all super fun stuff. Cookie exchanges, parties, present buying, decorating. So many fun things.

Just waiting for the first good snow fall. :)

4th Anniversary

Here it is - Our 4th Wedding Anniversary. We got married on November 25th 2006. We knew we were getting married on the holidays and that our anniversary would fall on thanksgiving some years. But it is kinda weird now that it's actually happening. :)

I was trying to think of a clever and interesting, unique post to write about our marriage, but I can't right now.

Richard is truly an amazing husband. He is so forgiving, never holds a grudge and very self sacrificing, all of the traits that I feel like I constantly need to work on. :( He is a good example to me and challenges me with that even without realizing it.

It's so cool to me that God established and designed marriage - that he wants us to enjoy every aspect of it, but also that it is the best thing in our earthly lives to develop christlikeness and make us holy.
Richard and I love being married, love being together, and love sharing life together. He is a great dad and I can't imagine life without him.

I love you Richard

Ps I married into a great loving family also. :)

New hair cut

I decided last night I couldn't wait another day before I got carson's hair cut. But I didn't want to pay. he has had 2 other hair cuts prior to this, that I have paid for, and I was happy with it. But this time i didn't want to spend the money and I needed to just try it on my own. Richard's mom taught me how to cut hair with Scissors and i do cut Richard's hair. Although I do not like it, I am getting more confident and it is going a lot better with Richard. So last night I decided to just go for it. :)

It turned out pretty good. not perfect and today I'm seeing a lot of areas i could've done better in, but hey, for the first time on a 19month old. I think it's ok. I'm sure I'll have many more opportunities to cut it in the next few years.

Soccer

So while I sit here and watch my brother's team (NIU) play soccer at the National Championship in Kissimme FL, I reminisce of the good ol' days. Boy I had 4 wonderful years of playing soccer at Northland. Those friendships that I gained are not replaceable. So many memories. I learned so much during those 4 years and really really had a great time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the 2 years that we went to FL were the best ever!!!!! Just great memories. I'm so happy for Jeff, that he gets to experience that. :)

I will never again be able to play like that, and I was at my peak. It's sad to me that I will never play like that again. I do miss those days a lot!!! Here is my favorite picture ever. It's of me and Richard after my last home game ever!!!!

Love/Hate relationship

I have a love hate relationship with my treadmill. hahaha

Richard was able to bring home a treadmill that he got from a job for free!!!! That was a huge praise. In the past i've always run outside, but of course once the sidewalks get covered in snow and ice my running stops and in the spring I start from scratch again. Well last fall he brought home this treadmill. Perfect for me for 3 reasons - 1.I'm a mother so i can't leave the house whenever, 2. I live in NEPA and the winters are long, and 3. I've recently really wanted to start running as a hobby.

The thing about a treadmill is - It's perfect b/c I can still run all year long. But my treadmill is located down in the deeps of our unfinished grimy basement, with nothing to look at or see except a wall that has the dry wall falling down and the furnace. I am a very competitive person when it comes to athletics so i can never just have a leisurely run. I'm constantly looking at the time and the distance and the pace and am always trying to push myself more, beat the time I had before, and go a little farther than the last time. I can't just have a nice jog.

But all this to say, I'm really thankful for something, and once spring comes, I will be going outside. :) Maybe I'll start training for my next big goal of running in a 10K. :)

Be thankful

I'm in the stage of life where I get very little sleep and am extremely tired all the time. I am constantly reminding myself that life does it easier, full nights sleep will eventually come, and my babies will grow up and be more independent. Carson is living proof that kids get on better schedules, sleep patterns, and more independent. It's easy for me to complain about being so tired or the craziness my days sometimes hold. But today I was reminded to be thankful b/c some people out there want so desperately to be in my shoes and can't. I was speaking with a past fellow co-worker and he longingly looked at my baby stating how they have been trying so hard to have a second baby but things are working out yet. As I left he said he would give anything for those sleepless nights. boy - that hit me. First of all to pray for him, he's not a Christian, but also my heart breaks for him and his wife. They are lovely people. God please show them your love somehow.

God help me to always remember how blessed I am, to focus on your love and goodness, and to always be thankful for what you give me. I don't want to complain, I want to praise you. Thank you, Ted Michel, for that reminder.

All by myself :)

So today embarks the life of motherhood of 2 by myself. My mom was here for about 3 weeks which is super long compared to what other mother's stay, but when she comes from so far and so little, she wants to make the most of it. I really enjoy spending time with her, and we had a grand time. Our days were filled with watching Regis and kelly together, going out shopping for anything, lunch dates, and mostly chats sitting on the couch holding Landon, and watching Carson play on the living room floor. We are a lot alike and really get along well. She thinks like me a lot as far as getting things done around the house and stuff, so she is a big help b/c she does things how and when I like them done. :) I really am spoiled with all the good times we had and nice company I had with her here.

Now it's back to reality. Although now that I've hit the 6 week mark (magic number for me) I feel prepared. Prepared to start cooking and baking, to start helping out at church again, and planning things with other people. prepared to do things for others, and start life on my own. but also prepared to take care of my two sons and my husband.

I love being called to be a mother and a wife. :)

5 Weeks

I've made it 5 weeks now. My mom came about 2 weeks ago - or a little less. It's been so wonderful to have her here. I survived just over 3 weeks on my own. (although not without lots of help from our church and melissa). Those 3 weeks are a little of a blur and I don't remember too much. I do know that Landon slept a lot during the day and slept 3 hour chunks at night and would always go back to sleep. I didn't do too much around the house or going out, just for apts and things that I had to do.

Once my mom got here we have had tons of fun. It's just wonderful to have the company all day, someone to talk to all day. It helps so much. And as her leg heals more and more (she broke it 8 weeks ago) we are going out more and more. She takes us out to eat and we go shopping. Although she can't jump around with us, it's helpful to have her walk with Carson (they are at the same speed right now :)) and hold his hand so he doesn't run off while I get landon out of the car and set up in the stroller.

Landon started waking up a lot more throughout the day. He cries a lot now and doesn't nap too well. We've had a few really bad nights too. he has never gone more than 4 hours at night and that isn't too often or consistent. I'm so thankful my mom is here now for landon's fussy times to help me out. I've heard 6 weeks is the peak time, and he should start doing a little better soon. I try to keep him on as consistent of a schedule as possible during the day, and every night I go to bed hoping that's the night he sleeps longer. I know it will happen one day - it's just a matter of waiting.

Sorta a cliche saying but "every baby is different" and that is so true. I have to stop comparing him to what Carson did b/c he a different person and born on a different schedule.

Overall we love having Grammie here with us all the time. Carson loves his baby brother and loves to bring the pacifier to him when he's crying or kiss him and touch him and lay down beside him. :)

I love my boys! :)

p.s. I LOVE FALL!!!! (and the fact that I'm not pregnant)

Unprepared and Unexpected

Since my last post many things have changed in our household and boy was I not prepared for it. Our Second baby was born 6 weeks early. To read full story read here.

Since that post just mentioned, here is an update. I came home from the hospital on Friday the 10th (landon was born on the 8th). He stayed in the NICU for 6 days. Coming home friday night was very anticlimactic. Not fun at all. :( My sister, Jerelyn, had come up with her 2 sons to help me out. Which by the way was so huge for Richard and I. It allowed Carson to be able to stay here at home with her, and we could leave as much as we wished to visit Landon and not having to take Carson to someone else's house.

For 4 days my life was consumed with pumping every 2-3 hours (even at night) and being in the NICU for as many feedings as I could be. (which was about 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening). Might I add, no mother should have to be walking into the NICU 2 days after giving birth and walking all over the place carrying her stuff. Those next 4 days were pretty tiring and not the easiest. What I kept telling myself is that Landon really is doing great. Thankfully I didn't have to do it for that long. I know many parents who do that for a lot longer, and now I will know how to pray for them.

Landon came home on Tues the 14th!!! and we were so excited. Jerelyn left with her 2 boys on weds morning. I was really nervous about being home by myself right away, and Richard going back to work. (my mom cannot come until her original date that she bought her tickets for).

Through this whole process we have seen the church body we are a part of come to help us just like family. I have had a couple ladies come for a few hours each day to help me with things and that is so helpful. People have been bringing us meals, and a bunch of people brought us groceries to hold us over. As hard as it is without my mom being here, our church family has made it a lot easier on us. (and when my mom does get here at the end of the month, everything will be normalized and we can party and go galavanting all the time) :)

It was quite the experience, although I know there are a lot worse situations. And through it all Richard and I felt God's strength. It's so true, he gives you the strength to go through whatever he ordains for you to go through.

Now things are looking so good - Landon is a great baby so far. Sleeps a lot and eats every 3 hours. He is my little timer. Our house was a complete disaster without one thing done for the new baby. (In fact Labor day was supposed to be our day to prepare for him, but I was in the hospital). Slowly I've gotten a few projects done here and there, and our hosue is slowly coming together for a baby. we have organized our lives a little too which helps me feel better about it. Richard started classes too - so that is added busyness for him. But we will make it through. Not what we were expecting, but such a blessing. And one of the best things about this whole event is I ended work so unexpectedly. I was so tired and burnt out from working and thought I had at least one more month of it. But now I'm done with that job FOREVER!! :)

We love you Landon and are so thrilled you came early to meet us. :)

Update

Since we came back - I have aprox. 8 weeks until the second baby is due. My stomach grew like at least 5 inches while on vacation. I know some women love being pregnant and I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but I am pretty tired of being pregnant and there is realyl nothing that I really enjoy about being pregnant. Ok - I'll try to think of the positive and not complain - I love that my skin is so clear, I haven't had to wear make up and my face doesn't really break out at all - and my hair is super healthy. But I am really starting to get uncomfortable and now that I know what it all is like, and the amazing feeling the first few weeks of not being pregnant - I cannot wait to have that agian. I can't wait to sleep comfortably, walk comfortably, eat comfortably, and start the process of running and losing weight instead of constantly gaining weight no matter what I try to do.
I have so much to do before the baby comes though. I have tons of organizing to do with our upstairs, with our clothes and extra room, and toys and arranging everything. But what I'm really trying to do is get through one month and a week of work. UGH!!!
And our whole family is really anxiously waiting the cooler weather now. I had a great summer of fun in the sun - but now i can't wait until my favorite season - FALL!!!!

VA Beach trip

We just got back from a wonderful trip to VA Beach!!! So much to talk about with even how this all came about. We have great friends from College that live there. Richard's good friend and my best friend. In college there was a group of 4 guys that all hung out, prayed together and really challenged each other - Mike, Wes, Dan, and Richard. when we graduated the same year at college they committed to stay connected and to pray for each other and hold each other accountable through the many years of life. Well it's been 4 years since College graduation. We have all been in each mother's weddings, (except for dan, who we're still waiting on to get married). But we haven't seen each other since the last wedding almost 3 yrs ago. (all the wives sorta get thrown in the mix, but we really get along great to0). So a while ago we decided to plan this major tirp to VA beach and all committed to making this happen. when we started planning it we didn't realize there would be a 3 month old, a 4 week old, and a 31 week pregnant lady in the bunch, but we still all made the effort, and it was well worth it. Great group of friends with great memories to talk about, and making great memories.

Great time at the beach a couple days, Great food and coffee, and great talks were had by all.

God blessed us with awesome godly friends - and we are so thankful for them, and their encouragement to us. We have all gone our own ways - but we still make an effort to keep in touch.

And I was most happy b/c I got to visit with my best friend who is also there with her husband, and their new baby. sadlly i didn't take any pictures of them - I'll have to wait until she sends them to me.

Nothing better than some sister time!

Last weekend I took a day off from work and went to visit my sister. I hadn't seen her since February and she only lives 3 hrs away. There's just something so relaxing and enjoyable about spending time with your sister. She is my twin - but we are as opposite in every way possible. Having kids together has been so fun. We both are pretty relaxed about things and her house is plenty big enough for all of them to run around. We understand eachother and love each other no matter what. There's just nothing like family - and sometimes I really miss being around my family. She did her youngest son's 1st yr birthday party and I helped her with everything. Although I missed Richard terribly - I was so thankful for the time that I spent with Jerelyn. (Plus I don't think we will ever live this close after we are done here with school)

The Fall

So this past friday turned out different than i was planning. Here's the story . . .

Of course it's 6AM and I know I won't be able to doze back to sleep for a little bit more unless I make my way down to the toilet first - yes, I go to the bathroom all the time. So I got up still sleeping I think and start my trek down to the first floor of our apartment where the bathroom is conveniently located right next to our stove in the kitchen. :-) But as i step on the first 2 steps down my foot slips on the edge and I start falling all the way down - still half asleep I have no idea what I hit or what happened. I just got to the bottom of the stairs and layed there. My blood is hardly flowing at all and I got so lightheaded b/c of that. UGH!!! not a good feeling, although I must admit it's not the first time I've falled down stairs first thing in the morning - in fact probably every house I've lived in i've falled down the stairs at one point or another but not that distance. Needless to say - I woke up Richard who was scared to death and also Carson. So our day got started off pretty early I think. But after I wasn't dizzy anymore I went and layed on teh couch for a little. My loving husband had the marvelous idea of going to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast since we were up so early on a friday morning. That was a nice little treat.

So then I debated so much whether to call teh doc or not. I went back and forth, knowing everything was probably ok, but also knowing that everyone takes things very seriously when you fall with a baby inside you. So I called the doc office at about 9 AM. I was hoping she would just tell me to look for certain signs and if something did start happening to call them back. But no, she told me to go straight to Labor/delivery and get checked out. Well I debated whether to take Carson with me - but he had been up so early, and was really needing his morning nap, so I took him to the neighbors to sleep there while I would be gone, thinking it would take about an hour or so. (ha, was I wrong about that).
So after calling the people I'm responsible to for work, I made the short trek to the hospital. Without going into too much detail - i ended up being there for over 6 hrs (which by the way is the minimum you have to stay if you go in for a fall) and had blood work done, an ultrasound, and was on the fetal monitor all day. But I just layed in the bed and relaxed watching tv all day!!! i wished I brought a book, or computer or something. Next time (hopefully there isn't a next time) I will know better what to expect.
So everything is fine with the baby- and it all turned out great. I was a little shook up from the whole ordeal and the what if's. And my lower back is very sore and healing pretty slowly. But other than that it was an event come and gone. Thankful nothing more serious happened, and thankful for God's protection when I was half asleep.

2nd pregnancy

So here I am at 25 weeks. Onlly 15 or less to go. Some people say - oh that's not very much, others say - you still have a long way to go. So take that as you want to. :-)

this pregnancy I've craved lots of cold, expensive, calorie rich drinks. It's cold and costly - I want it. :-) Slushies, iced coffees, frappes, smoothies, milkshakes. Anything like that. I really need to get a blender and make some myself - but there is something about buying one that was made for you that tastes so good. :-)

Needless to say the only one I have really indulged in is the Iced Coffees - mostly b/c I can get them for $1.16 and they are very accessible. So wonderful. Hot coffee is not appealing to me at all but you say the work iced before it and I want it. :-)

I think it's probably b/c I'm pregnant through the summer and it's been so hot. But I will admit - so far the heat hasn't been as bad as I was anticipating - although the humidity realy does zap me of my energy. Overall i feel great still. Hoping that sticks around for a while.

I am so excited to have this baby and hold him, and enjoy him. With carson i had no idea what to expect and didn't understand the love you have for your children. this time around I understand all that. I cannot wait to have another child. God really does place something in a woman's heart for family and taking care of the home. I feel like I have just flourished as a woman in motherhood. Just thoroughly enjoying it.

One thing i'm very nervous and tend to get anzious about is the delivery. I really have my hopes up for a Vaginal birth after C-section (VBAC). But it's so hard to know what's going to happen. i will do all in my power - but most of it I'm powerless with. I know that I will be terribly disappointed if I have to have another surgery - but I'm just trying to prepare my heart for what God has and not have expectations. but at the same time I want to go into it with determination and even anticipation for what doctor's will want to do and prepared to stand up to it if I can. but the waiting game is the problem - I have no way to predict what will happen - and I just have to wait and see what will happen. So far everyone doctor or U/S doctor says I'm a perfect candidate but also - even they can't predict what will have to happen. SO I trust GOD!

End of June

So we finally go through the busiest part of our summer. I'm thankful we made it through. Now to enjoy the really hot summer days while working :-)

We week of the 21st - 25th we had our VBS at our church. Richard and i were in charge of the 3rd and 4th graders. VBS is always a lot of work - but so fun and rewarding in the end. It's such a funny thing - b/c you just are waiting the for the week to be over - but every day with the kiddos is so fun. You pray that you're time with them is profitable and that you are planting more seeds than it looks like you are. :-) We had another great couple helping us out - and we had fun working together.

June 27th Richard had the wonderful opportunity to preach at our church. We are in a transition period right now with no Senior pastor and trying to fill the pulpit. I guess everyone that was asked could not do it. It wasn't the most convenient time for him to prepare a message - but how can he turn down an opportunity that we wondered if we would ever have. So he gladly did it - it's so cool to see him doing what we know God has called us to eventually. He has such a passion for true expositional preaching centered on the gospel and to see him be able to prepare and do that makes my heart glad as his wife. he did a great job. Both of us pretty nervous about it - but he did so great. I was so proud of him. Cannot wait until the future when we are doingn stuff like that full time. (patience jessica, patience)

Then on the 30th of June we left after work and drove to NYC. The teens from our church were on their summer ministry trip. The youth pastor had to leave on thurs, so we drove to help take over and bring them home. Boy were we excited for this opportunity. it was so fun. We did take Carson and that does alter how much I could do with actual ministry - but boy we had a great time. The fact that it was NYC made me nervous - but it truly was enjoyable. Carson was flexible and although wasn't the happiest kid ever, he survived. we got to know a lot of the kids in the youth group and that was so wonderufl. Since both of us have a burden for the youth also. We learned things about what and what not to do or what we would like our youth group to look like as far as philosphy. Have a lot to learn about teens - but were so thankful for the opportunity.

We got back Sat July 3rd in the afternoon. Poor Carson isn't feeling too well, but we're hoping that it doesn't damper our plans to much.

Looking to the future - I have the 5th off of work!!!!!!! WOOHOOO. My twin Jerelyn will be coming to my hosue this week. And in August we will be taking a family vacation to VA beach to have a mini reunion with college friends. My last day of work will be Sept 30th and I cannot explain to you the happiness that I feel when I realize that. :-) then the baby comes.

Over all we are so thankful for the opportunity to experience and serve in our church and hope for more opportunities in the future. Please pray with us for decisions in the future.

Knoebels/ NYC

Wow - this last weekend was so fun, and so tiring at the same time.

On friday - Richard got to 40 hrs at about noon - so he came home, and I had everything ready to leave. My work had their annual picnic at a local theme park -Knoebels - so we were driving down there to get there by 2. We stopped on the way to pick up a friend that I work with, and then got stuck in traffic for like an hour. SO we ended up being an hour late for the picnic. We were thankful there was still food there. Knoebels was a good experience - very family friends. But Carson didn't like the rides too well. On each of them, the tea cups, the carasoul, and another jet flying thing, he had this look of terror on his face the entire time - and was on the verge of losing it - I was proud of him though, he held it together. but was not too happy. When we got home that night I was so so tired. I almost wanted to cancel our next day's plans - but very thankful that I didn't.

Saturday - we woke up bright and early and drove to NYC. This is always a nerve wracking event for me. The subways, the parking, the crowded city just seems so overwhelming to me a lot. But I always like going in at the same time. We had no problem getting in, parking or the PATH into the city. We met up with our good friends Wes and Katie Kouba who were vacationing there. We spent the whole day walking all around. We saw a little bit of Little Italy, the WTC, and the Museum of Natural history. And we enjoyed some great pizza at Lombardi's and coffee at a nice little shop. So good to see good friends, and to walk around a lot. Carson did so good for being in the stroller most of the day - He is quite the trooper. Probably not the funnest day he's ever had - but he handled that well too. there was a couple subways we got on that were so full, and he was picking at the people's pant legs and pulling on their clothes - but then who can resist a smile when you look down to see who it is - and this bright smiling little boy is looking up at you. No one seemed too bothered, although momma was mortified. :-)

Sunday - i think most of our Sunday's from now on will be pretty busy. We are teaching a Sunday school class (pre-k and K) and really enjoy teaching it together. Then this week we had to decorate our classroom for the upcoming VBS. (we are teaching 3rd and 4th grade again this year) Needless to say - by the time i got home Sunday afternoon I was in need of a long nap. :-) I did get one - Carson did so well through it all. And has bounced back just grand.

Lots of events coming up - and we will be super busy until after the 4 th of July - but we are so excited about getting more involved in church.

Memorial Day Weekend

I love going on trips, and if you read my blog at all you know that we try to take a lot but mostly b/c friends and family are far away. So We hadn't been on a trip since the new Year, which feels like FOREVER to me. :-)

We left Friday after work, like we always do, and we took a guy with us whose girlfriend is in MA for the summer. We made pretty good time and Carson once again did wonderful ( I dont' think you could be in this family if you didn't like road trips). When we got to my Auntie Terre's we talked for a really long time just catching up on life. (We get along very well, b/c I lived with her while I was engaged right after college).

Saturday we woke up really early and had breakfast in Boston at Faneuil Hall. I've never done that but it was really fun. My cousin and his wife and baby went, and then my other best friend from highschool and her husband went. After breakfast we walked to "the Constitution" and did a little tour. The weather was beautiful and perfect for a day of walking with friends. We had parked at a meter and knew the time limit, and when we were on our way back we knew it was close but thought we would be ok. When we were like a block away from the car, we watched the parking meter man put a ticket on our car. Richard ran up to him and told him we were right there, but that mean man said there was nothing he oculd do about it!!! Thankfully the fine could've been a lot higher than it was. Then we go to leave and the car won't start. UGH!!! And that mean parking meter man walking by us again, did not feel bad for us one bit, and didn't even consider taking the ticket away. Well after 2 hrs of waiting and calling AAA and paying a locksmith to ocme help out, we did end up getting back home. and we were thankful for nice weather, friends who are easy going, and nothing else on the agenda for the afternoon. We still enjoyed ourselves. In the evening we went to a family friends house, and their kids did great watching Carson while I relaxed on the couch and chatted with their parents. It was so nice for me.

Sunday was church and then we went out to eat with Grampie. A good ole' tradition of the family that we all really look forward to when we are in Boston. Then we went to church in the evening too. This church is my family's home church and where Richard and I got married, so it's so fun to go back and see everyone and catch up. There are a lot of dear friends to the family there. Sunday night Carson went home with A. Terre and we went to My best friends house and chatted until 12:30 at night!!!!!!! I haven't been out that late talking in forever!! it was so nice to catch up and there is just something so special about conversation flowing so easily with good friends.

Monday is the famous Sunday School Picnic at church so we spent the day at the park with the church family and had a great time of fellowship with everyone, and in the evening visited 2 other families that are dear to our hearts.

Tuesday we took our car to my Cousin's Mechanic shop for him to take a look. we have just had to dump so much money into our car, and the news he had for us was not too much better. So we were thankful for an honest opinion and honest good work done, but discouraged about the work/money cars cost. God will provide though.

After the car was done we drove home again for a short work week. The trip was so much fun and very refreshing for us. So glad we could make it to see everyone.

The rest of the week was spent playing outside in the beautiful sun with Carson. We made a make shift pool. I never want my kids to need lots of new toys, and seeing how much fun he had with some measuring cups and a bucket of water confirmed they just need love to be happy. :-)

1st hair cut

Well, it's taken me forever to decide what to do about getting his hair cut. After going back and forth about all my options and just putting it off for so long b/c I didn't know which one to do - I just called my hair dresser and set up an appointment. I did have to pay for it - but she did so good with him, and I was glad I took him there. He looks so cute now. So he looks all handsome in time for our fun trip next weekend.

Jehovah Jireh

So the past couple weeks I have been so amazed at how God has provided for our needs. Backing up a little bit before the past couples weeks, Richard and I were pretty discouraged about some things that didn't work out, confused about what to do, and worried about how things were going to work out in a few different big areas of our lives. It was so easy (and I'm not going to lie, I was) to be discouraged and thinking nothing "good" happens to us, we have to work for everything we have, God isn't working in our lives, or it was really hard to see.

But right now I want to take the time to praise God who does provide. I hope that I learned my lesson and will be able to do this even in the harder times. GOd thank you so much for your goodness whether I see it daily or not, you are Good.

-A man in our church gave Richard a whole set of new (to us, and relatively new in general) golf clubs. Now Richard has been saying for a long time that he wanted some new clubs, but of course that is not probable right now in our lives. But this wonderful man knew Richard loved golf and didn't need them anymore and just completely gave them to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Yesterday 5-21-10 Richard brought home a garbage bag full of non perishable food that he got from his work!!!!! This will help out so so much. (pictured above)

-Richard has been really needing work pants. every single pair he wears to work have massive holes in the knees - but who wants to spend money on work pants. So today a local church had a big free yard sale. i guess church people donate everything to church and everything is free. So we went to that and richard got 3 new pairs of pants, and I got some stuff for Carson for next winter, and some other little things. so so helpful and wonderful timing.

-We were looking for a toddler bed for Carson for when the new baby is born - we almost bought one on craigslist but at last minute decided not to - someone else from our church called and was getting rid of hers, so she is willing to just give it to us!!!! So wonderful and I'm so glad we waited on purchasing the other one.

-I was really worried about pregnancy clothes for me (carson's pregnancy I borrowed just about all my clothes from a friend, but she has moved away and I couldn't borrow them this time) - well in a lot of various ways, I have all the pregnancy cltohes I need and so littl emoney spent. I bougth some at yard sales, and a pregnancy crisis center, and a lot of people have let me borrow stuff too. So thankful for that.

We are so so thankful for it God taking care of each of our needs

1 Year Old

So this post has been delayed a little bit - but who cares. My son and I have achieved one year of being together and figuring each other out!!!! That feels like such a great accomplishment. I was so excited about his party. It's just a huge milestone for a first time mother and I love to plan things like this. My parents were able to be here for it, and that is something we will cherish forever, and never thought would happen.

I made the cakes for it - and they turned out great (although I did have help from my husband and my father). I had always said in the past that I would be terrible at making cool birthday cakes, but I had an idea and tried to do it. I would never have pulled it off without the help from my husband who is persistent at figuring things out though. so Saturday afternoon before the party I plunged into the challenge. After a whole afternoon of frosting, and a kitchen full of frosting all over the place. Here is the outcome. ( I made the frosting from scratch but added too much milk, and it was so runny after adding just about a whole bag more of powdered sugar, I sent Richard to the store to just buy some - hence the kitchen full of frosting.) But they turned out so good.

We just had family, our neighbors and a friend who lives close to us come over. So thankful for the day and the fun. I had meatballs, wings, pasta salad, veggies, and fruit salad for the food. And a really good punch too. Our theme was sports so that is why we did the soccer ball and the golf course cakes. I had an easter egg hunt for all the kids, and then had favors of diff kind of ball for everyone. i think everyone enjoyed themselves.

Carson started walking exactly a week before he turned 1. I thought it would never happen b/c he walked on his knees for like 5 months. But he finally did. Although the process of him walking all the time has taken longer than I expected too. But he is finally walking all over the place and getting faster. I just think it's so cute to see him toddling around.

Once I hit this mile stone I don't catch myself thinking about the next stage that much. If you've read my blog at all you know how much of an impatient person i tend to be. So always before i was always anticipating him being that next month older that by the time he hit that marker, I was on to the next one and didn't always enjoy the moment. But now that we have reached one yr, I feel like things are going good. i don't wait for him to be a different age now.

Now the big challenge is discipline and teaching him. I heard someone say just yesterday - "train your child to obey by the time he's 2 and things will be easier. " Which is just the philosophy I wanted to keep, now I know it is possible. So We are working on obeying and understanding what I mean when I say something. He does have a strong will, but I'm determined to be stronger than him. :-) I've really been praying a lot that God would help me to train him to be a godly man, and to be a well disciplined child. With God's help I face each new stubborn act of Carson's. :-)

But looking at this cute picture I bet you would never know he is stubborn :-)