tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73358868301242168222024-03-13T01:04:01.714-06:00Gardner ClanThe story of our livesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.comBlogger432125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-62276979178510997172014-04-10T09:38:00.000-06:002014-04-10T09:38:25.420-06:00Staying Together<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Richard and I married for life! It's a choice and we work at it every single day. Life keeps getting fuller/heavier/busier. (and from watching slightly older families this trend will continue) We've always made it a point to put our marriage first. We fight for time together, whether it's a Friday night date night out on the town, in home date night after kids go to bed, or a weekend away we fight to have regular time together for just the two of us. Despite how busy we are, how chaotic life with 3 boys is, despite the demands of jobs, church and family we always make it a priority to "get away". I would recommend this to anyone. We've just entered a pretty busy season - actually busier than we've ever been before, with a lot bigger demands of our time and energy.<br />
So beginning of last week Richard came to me with a wonderful surprise. He had planned a night getaway in Denver at a hotel downtown. He had planned the hotel and also coordinated with a couple to watch the kiddos for us. I know better than anyone what a huge responsibility it is and the work it takes to come to our house and take care of our 3 boys, and they gladly and willingly served us in that way! Some amazing friends for life they are!!!<br />
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This time away was so refreshing. It was perfect. I love downtown Denver so it was fun to walk around with the young life of Denver late into the night like we had no cares in the world. To wake up and stay in bed!!!! without anyone asking you for cereal and milk and cleaning up spilled cereal and milk. :) We had a wonderful breakfast at an awesome breakfast place downtown. Then did a little shopping. (Although I'm pretty sure I totally skipped a season of the whole shopping industry - man, prices are outrageous and clothes crazy! I feel old and weird saying that but this whole having kids and shopping so little has really put me behind the times!).<br />
We came back rested, relaxed and refreshed to happy boys who did great while we were away.<br />
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Here's to hoping that night away keeps us going for a few more months!!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-87006940486778230222014-04-02T09:44:00.001-06:002014-04-02T09:44:38.996-06:00A little update!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As you may have noticed I've been a little MIA on this ol' blog site! It makes me a little sad especially when I scroll through older posts and I love having those memories to look back on. I don't really know why I've been not posting either. Just not feeling too inspired lately I guess. We have had tons going on and I guess a lot of it I just didn't know how to write about and put it out for everyone to see. WE are going through so much change and full of life lived here. I would love to say I will be posting more and that I will post a certain amount per month but I don't want to put those stipulations on myself b/c I feel the words have to just come and flow and I can't force it!!! So here's to hoping inspiration comes back to me so I will have more memories all recorded! :)<br />
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Peyton will be 5 months this weekend! He is such a fun baby for me. He is so chill about things. Always happy. Doesn't seem to be as good or consistent of a sleeper but still nothing to really complain about. I love watching his amazement at his brother's antics. I've started cereal and a few other foods. This guy loves to eat!!! He gets so excited when he sees his bottle or when you're feeding him food, and he can really throw that bottle or food down. I hope he stays that way!!!! He is starting to show such personality.<br />
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Carson is now 5 yrs old! He had a blast at his party. We did our traditional donut breakfasts on their actual birthday. We all look forward to that. WE had a little lego themed party, although it was very low key. I basically just wanted him to have a bunch of friends over and play and have fun. And he did just that. I think we had about 30 ppl here and our house is not big! But the kids just had a blast. I just did hot dogs, pretzels, chips, pasta salad and veggies/fruit! Nothing big. Richard made the lego cake and it looked so cool. I am a firm believer that you don't need to do a huge production b/c I'm the personality that gets so stressed out about that. I don't do good with huge decorations that I've made and things like that. Some mothers love doing that, and I get stressed out, so I just do simple and mostly try to show my kids how special they are in other ways. I've decided that I love the 5yr old stage. He is so interactive and fun to spend time with. He is independent with everything but loves to have company in doing anything. His little mind is processing things and he's learning about life. It's so fun to watch and interact with that.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This cracks me up b/c he had a following of all his friends the whole party</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just some of the people at our party to celebrate the fun loving boy Carson is</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The boy who changed our lives forever<br />and made us parents</td></tr>
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Landon is talking so much. He was always the quieter shy one, but lately he will talk your ear off, even to a stranger or in public. I think he starting to realize the attention he can get that way. Still so goofy and adores his brother. </div>
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<br />I love watching Carson and Landon be best friends and play together so much. And now Peyton will sit in the room and just watch and follow them and laugh at all their funny antics towards him (which just eggs the boys on more which could get dangerous). They care for him so much and we're just one big happy family of 5 now. :)<br />
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There is lots of change at the church. Richard is taking on a lot more responsibility with being an elder now, but he still also has his full time job. We're really praying through and learning a balance of work, study, church, family, community and discipling. Feels really busy but it's all a good busy. Hopefully there are still some changes coming up as far as making a living goes, but I'm just trying to be patient.<br />
God is ripping my heart apart and teaching me so much about my sinfulness and selfishness in my heart with our new roles. I am humbled so much lately, but then amazed by his Grace that he forgives and loves me the same. And I pray that my heart will be changed to give myself freely and to trust God to provide for my needs both emotional and physical. My challenge word for the year was GIVE and mostly I feel like I am needing to give my time and energy completely serving little kids. Or giving up expectations I have for Richard to free him up to be what he needs to be in the church. Not how I expected to be "giving" this year.<br />
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I hope to be back on this more but you never know. Life is exciting and fun and joyful, but there are hard things too. So I need this outlet to process things and then keep memories.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-18327236212670106532014-03-22T21:55:00.004-06:002014-03-22T21:55:25.203-06:00CarsonWow - It's been a while . . . But that's for a different day. Life has been fuller than full. I haven't blogged very much for various reason one not being lack of things to write about. But I hope to get back asap!!!<br />
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Tonight I'm writing to honor my sweet firstborn, Carson!!!<br />
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Tomorrow March 23rd at 4:20 pm he will turn 5 years old!!!!!<br />
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There is so much to say about this guy. There is something very unique in the relationship with your firstborn, the child that made you a mother, the oldest in the family. My life was completely changed as most mothers can attest. No longer was my life or heart my own. My heart loved in a way I didn't know possible. I questioned myself more than ever before. I experienced fear of losing this tiny person and I was totally taken off guard by the worry that overtook my thoughts. Tired doesn't even describe the way those first few months were, and I was wondering if I would ever "live" again. But at the same time that joy and love grows so much its indescribable. He made me realize I don't know everything. I have learned to give a huge bucket of <u>Grace</u> to moms, to support moms, and to show love and concern for moms b/c it's a hard road and we need to help each other, not judge. Being his mother has taught me that!<br />
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Carson has always been extreme. I have said since the beginning - he is extremely happy, or he is extremely sad, mad, tired etc, never complacent. What I love about him and what I try to nurture and encourage is his love for people. He is so friendly and so caring and thoughtful. He is aware of those around him. He has tons of friends and loves being social. Through the years I've seen this grow and grow. Every day he learns more self control of his emotions and actions. Every day I see that little tender heart soften more and more to the gospel and what Jesus did for him. Every day he talks about his friends. He is a leader and people follow him. His laugh is still so contagious. I've always said "when he walks in the room smiling, the whole room lights up". He will make you feel like his most special person when you're with him. He is active and coordinated and always full of life and energy.<br />
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Something he told me today about his party (that is tomorrrow by the way) - "I want to invite the whole city!!!" That's how much he is a people person. We're having a huge, but very low key, party for him tomorrow. He kept asking if more and more people are coming. He just loves to hang with all his friends.<br />
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It is a joy, privelege, and gift to be called his mother. </div>
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It was so fun to look through all the pictures of him. There was so many to choose from and so many good ones. He is such a joy to our family and we are so excited to celebrate his life tomorrow and thank God for giving us this gift!!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-73388952449844341802014-01-28T12:42:00.002-07:002014-01-28T12:48:42.744-07:00Kindergarten Orientation!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last week started a whole new era for the Gardner Clan! Our first born, Carson, had orientation for kindergarten. We have decided to send him to the local neighborhood public school for now. (we plan to always be evaluating our children, the school and situations surrounding their whole schooling and we are willing to change if necessary).<br />
Deciding what to do for schooling for my children has always been really overwhelming to me. It seems like a huge unknown world to me full of many choices and strong opinions by people. (I don't do well when other people have really strong educated opinions and I don't).<br />
We chose our local public school for many reasons. I am happy to comment on them, but don't want this post to be about that.<br />
I want to capture for remembrance sake the feelings that I have experienced lately with this new transition, that I'm sure as we get closer to the fall will only get more intense.<br />
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First of all, the Parent Orientation night was so helpful and good. We loved hearing from the Principal and she "impressed" us with how she presented things.<br />
I am mostly so excited for this new season. Watching Carson walk into that room to play with other new kindergartners and their teachers while we went to the presentation was so emotional. (ha, I know, its not even school year yet). Watching him walk in confidently and excitedly and very competent made my heart skip a beat. I mean isn't that what I've been doing for almost 5 years now. Preparing him to be a confident person but also humble, who is capable of interacting with other children and other adults.<br />
My fear as a first time kindergartner mom, who never sent her kids to day care or preschool was that my child wouldn't understand what's happening and going on in the day and that he would get lost in the shuffle of tons of kids who already know what to expect. I mean lets face it - I've been the biggest part, probably all but 5 days of his entire life!!!!!! I know every minute detail about this child. What makes him laugh, what makes him cry, and what sets off his sensory fits and how to calm him down. In the principal's talk she was very good at calming those fears and verbalizing how much they understand about 5 year old children and how much the 5 year olds need to learn about school and that they really work with them. I was afraid he wouldn't understand it's time to eat his lunch without me telling him and then be starving all day. But there was a lot of little things like that the principal really made me feel better about.<br />
I was so excited about hearing things that he will learn this first year about our world, and mostly that it's not completely up to me to teach him about the world, math concepts, and how to write sentences. Because I'll just be honest - that really overwhelms me and I have no idea how to help him learn that best.<br />
I think he will thrive in that social setting and that learning will be so fun for him.<br />
I sat in that room trying to hold back tears listening to how his first few months of school will be and I felt sad and really happy at the same time. Excited and Nervous. Ready and completely not ready.<br />
Carson has never been into learning his letters. But looking at the check lists of things they "should know" before kindergarten made me feel so much better. He is pretty much where the average kid is his age and he will do awesome.<br />
I can't believe that my first baby is getting ready to head to Kindergarten, where he will have many friends, have a kind teacher, learn how to write his name and the world his lives in. As we walked back to the classroom to pick him up mostly what I felt was EXCITED! I can't wait for this new phase of life to begin.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-24256287407665615502014-01-13T21:59:00.001-07:002014-01-13T21:59:59.872-07:00Dedicated to my mother for her Birthday<br />
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<a href="http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/90/16/f5/9016f556e6a41087862d65a729446751.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="I love this quote. I'm thinking about writing something specail like this for mom on her next birthday. Or maybe I might save it for mothers day." border="0" height="320" src="http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/90/16/f5/9016f556e6a41087862d65a729446751.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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January 14th is my mom's birthday and I wanted to </div>
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write a little something about her.</div>
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Mum, I look up to you so much. In the years that I have become a mother</div>
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I have learned how much you sacrificed.</div>
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I realize how much you laid down your life for your family, without recognition.</div>
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You left the comfort of your home and surroundings, you gave up everything</div>
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to live in a country where you knew no one, and couldn't speak to anyone. And you served your</div>
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husband and children beyond measure and without complaint. I don't know how you did it - leaving your friends and being so isolated in a country with three small children. And you</div>
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raised us with love beyond measure. I never heard you complain about</div>
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missing the States. I never heard you complain about the loneliness I know you felt.</div>
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I watched you serve others, trust God through many difficulties that most people can't even fathom and you did so with such faith and trust in God. </div>
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You taught what it meant to believe in the God of Salvation. You lived out the gospel</div>
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daily and taught us that we were sinners, needing a savior. And </div>
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taught us to live life the seeks to know a God who loves us.</div>
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You taught us to trust Him in all times no matter the circumstance and to not let circumstances</div>
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determine our actions towards others, that it's always right to treat others with </div>
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respect and love, no matter what!</div>
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You continue to bless our family and sacrifice for us.</div>
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Helping us financially and with your time. You bless your grandchildren</div>
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and make them feel special all while sacrificing your own time and finances.</div>
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Now that I'm an adult and realize the seriousness of life and the difficulties</div>
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I realize and recognize how much <b>Faith</b> and <b>Love </b>and <b>Trust</b> it took to live</div>
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a life of honesty, humbleness and service.</div>
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I realize how blessed I am to be loved by you. How blessed I am that</div>
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God placed me in your life as your daughter.</div>
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I hope today on your birthday you realize how much I love you, how much </div>
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I appreciate you, and how much I recognize what you did for me.</div>
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And I admire you, look up to and only hope to be able be the</div>
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mother you were to me.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy Birthday Mum.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I Love You!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFVJeCHTr9-uW_gaOnVA5djspzBUEmMTuqbshFAD0RFgpNfun-tBjbo0YROCCJ8ENLQlKyYE2VN-k_NHyQIhasDVIuS_-7h906rYBqc69uW_xYZlHJJZt1Y-hQdCPiNft6uxnOf8Lc2LtT/s1600/2012-08-04+12.57.55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFVJeCHTr9-uW_gaOnVA5djspzBUEmMTuqbshFAD0RFgpNfun-tBjbo0YROCCJ8ENLQlKyYE2VN-k_NHyQIhasDVIuS_-7h906rYBqc69uW_xYZlHJJZt1Y-hQdCPiNft6uxnOf8Lc2LtT/s320/2012-08-04+12.57.55.jpg" width="280" /></a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-61002438454861868812014-01-08T16:42:00.001-07:002014-01-08T16:42:09.645-07:00Beginning of the year thoughts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been thinking a lot lately about how to make the most of life, enjoy the little things. Life for us just keeps getting busier and I don't see it slowing down any in the future. And I feel as though my life is fleeting away and I'm "missing" it.<br />
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From June-November of 2013 we have had a series of BIG things happen. Richard was promoted to a manager position at work which brought a lot of added stress. We moved to a different apartment. Richard was made a lay elder at our church, The Crossing. And we added a third boy to our clan. I'd say in 6 months time that's a lot of transition.<br />
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I feel like I've been in a weird season. I don't think I can describe late pregnancy and early newborn stage effectively. My body and hormones have gone through many changes and are still changing. My sleep patterns have been completely altered and energy level shows it. Basically I've been trying to just "get through" each day. Get as much accomplished as I can, clean and maintain as much as I can but not having very many expectations. Maintain my boy's behavior and try to survive as best I can as far as entertaining them goes. But I haven't really been "present" for them. I've made excuses for myself.<br />
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But I'm tired of living like this. Maybe it's the new year, maybe it's the thought that Carson goes off to Kindergarten this fall and wondering if I've done enough, maybe it's the "starting to feel semi-normal" that's occurring in my body, maybe it's the thought that Peyton is my last baby - but I need to break out of this daily cycle and realign my purpose as a mother, child of the King.<br />
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There is LIFE to start! Activities to plan for church and life group, watching the little girl again, figuring out registration for Carson, a race to train for, weight to lose, and getting my newborn baby past the newborn stage in every sense of the word! (if you know what I mean!!!)<br />
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Life is busy! Life is tiring! and Life is stressful! And we are still trying to figure out what all these new changes will look like for our family. We are still trying to get our house organized, figure out our new baby, and figure out responsibilities at church.<br />
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But in the midst of all of LIFE - there is the <b>beautiful</b>. The children who have a secret to tell you right this very minute of "I love you!" Full of cuddles and hugs with warm blankets on the couch. The hug from your husband who has worked a stressful day but comes home to help with the kiddos. The first smiles and coos from the baby, watching them learn to roll over. Beautiful is watching your newborn be calmed down in your arms laying against your chest.<br />
So I choose to show up every day. A midst the tiredness and feelings of "I have no idea what I'm doing and if I'm doing enough" I choose to claim God's truth. He loves me unconditionally, he gives me hope, he is making me new and gives me a fresh start. Step out of the "funk" and really be there. Take time with the boys and do activities. Teach Carson as best I know how the skills needed for kindergarten. I need to really slow down and concentrate on the little moments. Be thankful for them. And really trust the God, who created the heavens, to care enough about me, my strength and family that he will carry me through. That he gives me exactly the rest that I need for that day whether it's the amount I want or not, and I can trust Him and rely on Him. Rest in him that already knows what 2014 will look like for me.<br />
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Life is fleeting by! and I want to live shining Christ through the mundane. I want my boys to see God's love in the daily things and it's my responsibility to show them that. I want to enjoy the moments. I want to GIVE of myself daily to my husband, my boys, and my community without reservations fully trusting my care to God who promises to keep me and who loves me.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-40570314148355471682013-12-31T07:57:00.000-07:002013-12-31T07:57:25.224-07:00Year 2013 in ReviewI've been doing this kind of post for 3 years now and it's one of my favorite posts to write. (the other two can be found <a href="http://jessandrichard.blogspot.com/2011/12/year-2011-in-review.html">here</a> and <a href="http://jessandrichard.blogspot.com/2013/01/recap-2012-one-of-my-most-favorite.html">here</a>) I love going back and reminiscing about the year and being reminded of what we did and what happened. But it is <u><b>really hard </b></u>to keep it to one picture for the month. This year I really notice how my boys have changed. People keep telling me, but looking back I can really see it. The two oldest boys went from being toddlers to little boys! I can't believe how much they've grown. It was also a year marked by lots of change.<br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>January</b></span></div>
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This month was boring. The biggest thing that happened was I started</div>
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watching a baby 4 days a week. She fit right in and we loved her. But it took me all month to adjust to a new routine.</div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>February</b></span></div>
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We celebrated Valentines day with heart quesadillas, breakfast out, and a date night</div>
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We went from beautiful weather to snow and sledding. This picture</div>
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cracks me up from that month.</div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>March</b></span></div>
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This one I chose 2 pictures. Our firstborn turned 4!!!! And we took a family Easter Picture. </div>
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We also found out we were pregnant with our 4th baby (3rd living one) so that was exciting, but</div>
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I was sick the whole month.</div>
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<b style="color: #351c75; font-size: x-large;">April</b></div>
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This month is only marked by a wonderful trip to MN. </div>
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My younger sister and her family was "commissioned" to head as missionaries</div>
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to serve in Spain. All original 6 Mayfields were able to be together</div>
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and we had a great time. So thankful for being able to take this trip</div>
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<b style="color: #351c75; font-size: x-large;">May</b></div>
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In May we celebrated Mother's day and Memorial Day</div>
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This picture is from Boulder on Memorial Day. I've wanted to go for a while</div>
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and this year we finally made it. Maybe one day I'll actually run in the big race there!</div>
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<b style="color: #351c75; font-size: x-large;">June</b></div>
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The boys learned how to fly a kite! We also were able to spend a long weekend</div>
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in the mountains with our Life group at a cabin! This group of people</div>
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have become like family to us. We are so thankful for them and blessed by them.</div>
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It's cool to see that "Community", the way God intended us to live, </div>
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really does bless us, challenge us and draw us close to Him.</div>
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Richard and I were also able to get away for a night to reflect</div>
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on our precious baby that we lost at the end of the year. June 13th marked the</div>
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due date I had and it was really nice to be able to get away during that time.</div>
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This also marked the month when Richard got promoted at work to Project Manager.</div>
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Which you would think would be a good thing, but has been</div>
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stressful, and not a lot in return. But hey, trying to not focus on the negative.</div>
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<b style="color: #351c75; font-size: x-large;">July</b></div>
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We were able to take a really fun camping trip with Family this month. We drove over the mountains and camped with cousins and grandparents. It was REALLY fun. </div>
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The boys went fishing with Grandpa, saw 2 bears, and ran around endlessly in the woods. They got super dirty and ate only junk food. And they were in heaven. :) </div>
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p.s. I also chopped my hair off for the first time in my life. YIKES!</div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>August</b></span></div>
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I had to put two pictures on here as well. B/c we did two exciting things this month. We</div>
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Spontaneously made it to a Broncos scrimmage at the stadium</div>
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with the boys. And although it got rained out (hail, wind, and rain) we had a really</div>
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fun time as a family and it was cool to do that with the boys.</div>
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We also took a camping trip with our Life group! It was so much fun once again to spend</div>
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time together with them. We love camping!!!</div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>September</b></span></div>
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(ok, so maybe 2 pictures per month would be appropriate :) )</div>
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This month started out with a big move to a different condo in town. I a was like 32 weeks pregnant or something so as you can imagine - not the most fun. But very very thankful for this new place to call our home. It suits us much better.</div>
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Also our middle son turned 3!!!!</div>
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And on that same day we were prayed over to become a pastor of our church. There is so much to say about this. But I don't know how to quite say it. we are blessed beyond measure</div>
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by this church body. We have grown so much and our desire is to be helping in this way. It was</div>
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a huge answer to God's calling on our lives. We are still trying to figure out</div>
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what it looks like to be bi-vocational and how we will function and what our responsibilities</div>
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will officially be, but we are so thrilled with this.</div>
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The rest of the month I basically tried to survive and unpack our house!</div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>October</b></span></div>
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This month was survival. The end of my pregnancy was rough and hard on me. I had a lot of uncomfortableness, tiredness, and pain. I had two showers for my baby which we were totally blessed by. We visited the Zoo (which turns out to be a yearly October thing for us to do). My mom came at the end of the month, and we had fun with a transformer and wolverine for</div>
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Halloween. </div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>November</b></span></div>
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This month was clearly marked by introducing our 3rd boy into the world.</div>
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Peyton was born on November 6th and everything after that is a blur. :) </div>
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The boys love him to death and he fits right into our family.</div>
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We had a quiet thanksgiving weekend. But other than that we just tried to figure out life as a family of 5. Richard and I also celebrated our 7th wedding Anniversary! </div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>December</b></span></div>
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Honestly I don't really know what happened this month. It flew by. We celebrated Christmas early as our own family entity for the first time ever. That was wonderful and simple and so sweet. </div>
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We also traveled to Grand Junction for a big Christmas celebration and a family wedding. </div>
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Richard also preached this month which is always "all-consuming". So we made it to the end of the year.</div>
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My word for this past year was "SERVE". As I look back on the year I can't say I did this well. In the last 6 months Richard has received a lot of responsibility outside the home with work and church. Which has in a way "forced" me to serve my husband and family in many more ways that sometimes I don't feel I can handle or always have the best attitude. Most of the year I felt physically weak and tired (from pregnancy) which deterred me from serving much outside my home!</div>
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So in looking to this new year the word I have prayed about and chosen is <span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">"GIVE". </span>I want to give unconditionally. I want to NOT hold back. Give of my time, my energy, my resources and my possessions. Give to my children, give to my husband, my friends, my neighbors, my church. Give unreservedly, how Christ gave to us. Give knowing I leave this earth with nothing. Give knowing all I have (energy, time, possessions) all are a gift to me, I don't deserve them. </div>
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I can't wait to see what this new year brings.</div>
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How our lives will change. This past year (really only 6 months)</div>
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was filled with many changes, housing, job responsibility,</div>
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new child, and church/pastor. What will this</div>
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new year bring???!!!?!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-13377894024899519812013-12-19T11:14:00.000-07:002013-12-19T11:14:18.315-07:00We have made it to the coveted 6 Week Mark!!!!<span id="docs-internal-guid-62f376ca-0bfc-f364-e110-13127ed5fa18"></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN_eaIWjPMC_7N7ABTBHKyKGlji0JxJA-i2CuUOPJUDGTTYIr8RrD8Q7bh-rcAH8NP_o-ohwx4NGo-rsA-Jo97gOMKJhr9Tm6R8U-Z1t7SEK_tOaIRe1DDLaR1oSf1HPjmFQymMBysRrye/s1600/20131206_092415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN_eaIWjPMC_7N7ABTBHKyKGlji0JxJA-i2CuUOPJUDGTTYIr8RrD8Q7bh-rcAH8NP_o-ohwx4NGo-rsA-Jo97gOMKJhr9Tm6R8U-Z1t7SEK_tOaIRe1DDLaR1oSf1HPjmFQymMBysRrye/s640/20131206_092415.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I always tell new moms (trying to be an encouragement) to just make it to the 6 weeks mark and things will seem so much easier and better! It was something I have had to remind myself of lately too. And you know what! I still think it's true. I feel so much more myself now, we are settling into a routine, and I feel like going out for errands or play dates or responsibilities isn't so overwhelming and tiring. My new goal to make it to is 3 months!!! Half way there!!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have put down all expectations for anything this Christmas season. I have tried to simply enjoy being SIMPLE - we barely got a tree up or Christmas cards ordered and mailed out. And you know what? -I'm totally fine with that. My goal is to Enjoy my bigger family and not put pressure on myself and let the boys enjoy simple things about the season. B/c we all know next year at this time will be totally different and I will be able to accomplish a lot more with more energy. I tried making homemade caramels this year! Something I've done every year of my entire life!!!! Something that in 7 years of marriage I have never messed up. And this year - I can't believe it but I must admit that I tried it 3 times and every time I messed it up!!! It's a delicate process but something I prided myself in mastering! Now I can no longer say that and cannot believe I wasted all those ingredients and time!!!! I'll chalk it up to having a newborn! That's it for my traditions this year. Now concentrate on wrapping presents - I hope I don't mess that up!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Things here at home are really starting to become enjoyable. I feel so much better and capable of handling life. :) Peyton has truly been a joy to our family. He is as easy as newborns can be and we all adore him. I am truly thankful for this little life. Since my last post we have started experiencing his smiles which is the best part of a newborn.</span></div>
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Watching his face light up with pure joy in seeing our faces. It only gets better from here on out. He is growing tons. <br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Life has been really busy around here with responsibilities to fulfill and every day life. (especially for Richard, which in turn makes me busier to keep up with more around the house) But we are a few days away from Christmas vacation and fun trip with family. We will make it. I'm happy to be able to say now that I'm excited about celebrating this simple Christmas with my family of boys. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-55914086839711378122013-12-10T15:55:00.001-07:002013-12-10T15:55:39.025-07:00Musings from our First Month as Family of 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I wanted to write a tiny update on our first month as a family of 5.<br />
My labor was everything a labor should be, but in my experience rarely is. I labored at home for a good part of it, in fact all the beginning labor. I only had to be in the hospital laboring for about 5 hrs which is very ideal. And despite my pleadings for a c-section to end it all or my begging for an epidural I managed to push him out with no medication. Richard kept telling me during the labor that I would feel so much better without that stuff. And he was right. Although if labor lasted any longer I don't know that I would've agreed with him. Nothing can describe the feeling of pushing a baby out and your wonderful baby being placed on you immediately for you to ENJOY!!!! and for as much time as you like. (You see I never experienced this with my other two children). That moment that you have with your baby and your husband is magical and indescribable.<br />
Peyton is truly my gift from God. I know that about my other two - but after the last 2 years I understand and really "KNOW" that Peyton is exactly who God chose for our family and for me as my son!!!!!! and we love him to pieces<br />
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Our first month as a family of 5 has been really good. My mom was here for 2 and half weeks with baby Peyton, a blessing I do not take likely or for granted. She helped us out so much in so many areas. After she left we had Thanksgiving to enjoy and revel in a slow weekend as a family adjusting to things. Life is busy for everyone and we are no exception. The other older boys love him to death and really the adjustment to 3 has not been too difficult. Peyton seem to just fit right into the chaos and noise.<br />
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There is one thing that I've hesitated sharing here b/c I don't want to be labeled or start a debate or be judged (quite frankly) But I want to remember what affected me most this past month. My perspective really has changed regarding expectations and decisions we make and judgments made about others. You see - Peyton was not thriving with my breastmilk and despite doing everything I knew how to do he was losing weight. (and yes, I felt like I tried everything) I had to make a very hard decision and put him on formula and I have stopped nursing all together. It was hard b/c I was able to nurse my other two boys just fine (it's never come easy, but my babies have always thrived with it) and I believe breastmilk is better for my child. And before you make judgments in your head or in the comment section let me just remind you that you don't know what all is behind my decision and I truly am trying to do what is best for my children.<br />
You see God has taught me more than I can even begin to type here in this blog post. I have experienced an array of things when it comes to child-bearing. I have had an emergency c-section. I have experienced a preemie baby and the "joys" of a NICU stay, not being able to hold your baby, or feed your baby for days and leaving the hospital without your baby. I have gone through the terribly horrifying news that my baby died inside my body and God chose to take my baby before I got to meet him/her. I have also experienced the wonderful joy of a "perfect" labor and delivery peaceful and calm. I have nursed two perfectly healthy babies and also had the stress and helplessness of not being able to provide what your baby needs and then giving him formula. Now I'm not saying I have been through it all, or that I understand everyone's situations or emotions, or even come remotely close to knowing everything - I'm saying quite the opposite. These few experiences have taught me that we are not in control of life. That God is directing each of our lives even in these things. Some things for people go so smoothly and how they want -others have to face reality that "ideal" isn't very common. And the thing I have learned most in my measly 4 1/2 yrs of motherhood is that motherhood is hard and confusing and very intricate. We are trying our best in our situation at that stage of life to chose and do what is best for our family b/c we love them more than words can say and more than we ever imagined possible. We don't know other's situations/emotions or everything that played into how their life is - so we cannot judge. Let's instead encourage and uplift each other even in all of our differences and variations of this whole thing called LIFE!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-83407490204524909372013-11-27T21:46:00.002-07:002013-11-27T21:46:42.391-07:007th Anniversary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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November 25th, 2006 Richard and I were married.<br />
It was a late Saturday morning after Thanksgiving.<br />
We were married in Boston in the Fall and it was a perfect Fall day.<br />
We have a great engagement story, we have a lot of fun trips we've taken, and romantic stories to tell.<br />
But we also have the "boring", the mundane parts of our life. We have the going to work every day, kids around us all the time, busy with church things and maintaining life.<br />
We have the difficult. We have the hard and the choosing to love. We have the grief, loneliness from moves, financial difficulties.<br />
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As we celebrated 7 years of life together we were able to get away from the 3 kiddos and enjoy a great meal and some quiet conversation. (thanks to my mom who took care of the 3 boys) In our talking and reflecting I am just so amazed at how things turn out. There are things about Richard that I love and am so thankful for that when I married him I had no idea was a part of him. There were things that bugged me so much when we were first married that now I love b/c it is a part of who he is. We have lived enough time together and established our lives and family enough now that I love who we are as a couple.<br />
I love how committed Richard is to me. Right now we are in the thick of "emotional wife". And he makes an effort to say "goodbye Beautiful" to me when he leaves for work each morning. And let me tell you - 3 weeks out from having a baby, in the throes of trying to figure out nursing - I am not looking my best. But I know that he is by my side - that he cherishes me.<br />
I wonder what joys and sorrows and trials and fun times the next 7 years will bring.<br />
Love you Richard!<br />
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A very good friend of mine took a bunch of photos of us 6 days after Peyton was born. I love these two b/c it shows my sweet family of 5 and then all of us laughing! It was so much fun taking the pictures<br />
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And this is what 7 years of marriage has produced :)</div>
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(p.s. I love being the mother of boys!!!!)</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-34945790595785819062013-11-07T00:44:00.001-07:002013-11-07T00:54:00.589-07:00Meet Peyton Glenn Gardner<p dir="ltr">November 6th, 2013 at 7:17pm Peyton Glenn came into the world weighing 7lbs 4oz, 20.5 inches long. He is absolutely perfect and we are ecstatic. </p>
<p dir="ltr">3:30am Wednesday morning my water broke (as it has with all my babies) and labor kicked in right away. I labored at home until about 10am. Went into my midwives office and was checked. At that time was about 2 centimeters dilated. Decided to kill some time so we went to a park and dilly- dallied doing things to keep my mind off labor as much as possible. We decided to head to hospital around 2:30ish pm. At the hospital I labored for about 5hrs. There was plenty of talk of starting pitocin to get labor moving faster along, since I already had ruptured membranes, and plenty of talk about how I couldn't do it anymore wanting an epidural. In the end thankfully the last 4 centimeters to dilate <u>went</u> pretty fast and I made it through without needing that medicine. <br>
I am feeling great and very relieved and so thankful for God's help and strength and Grace. But mostly that all of that is behind me.<br>
For now I'm enjoying my precious baby and loving him so much</p>
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October 16 is a date I will forever remember. Many will not - but it will always be etched in my mind. This early stages of fall have been a big time of reflection for me. Fall (as it is with most people) has always been my favorite time of year. Last year I feel like the happiness that comes with Fall was ripped from me. As I go about our lives and events this year I am constantly thinking that last year I was pregnant at this time, with a child I would not be able to carry for long and never be able to meet. A part of Richard and I that we will never get to meet on this earth. There is a dark cloud over most of the memories from last fall.<br>
A year ago tomorrow I found out that God had different plans than I would ever choose for one of my children and despite how I was torn into pieces it was for My good and His Glory. This blog has been a place for me to be open and share our story as a family and I have been honest with how going through losing a child has affected me.<br>
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As I stand back and evaluate things I can only say that I am blessed. I distinctly remember in the early stages of grieving those first few months wondering if I would ever feel the healing, longing to be at this stage now; knowing I would feel better about it and not be as shaken by this reality. And now I'm standing here and for all of you who are in the depths of this tragedy I want to encourage you and say that the LORD does bring healing and joy and peace in Him. It feels good to finally have made it to "the year mark" and I once again feel strong and myself.<br>
When I say "I am myself" I more adequately mean that I feel human again. Because the "Self" that I once was has been completely changed. Where once I boasted in my non-emotionalism to things, now I find myself hardly making it through a worship service without tears streaming down my face. I am emotional about my God and his holiness and his love towards me after experiencing these characteristics in such a deep way, and worship has a way of making that clearer than ever. I care about other's emotions so much more. I am so much more aware of other's situations and hurts and cares and I am moved inside to be a comfort to them.<br>
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Another huge thing I've learned is to value life, especially life given to me whether my own or my children's, so much more. I don't take for granted these things. God ultimately has a plan and path for each one of us, especially regarding our own families. I have learned that we do not deserve it. He works according to his perfect plan advancing his Kingdom. Even the gender of babies that we desire is His ultimate choice. I love my boy's more deeply and strive to be a good mother more than I did before I lost my precious child.<br>
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And so this week as I stand in reflection I want people to know what God has taught me, how I've changed, and for those of you in the midst of it to have hope that God can heal your heart.<br>
I am weeks away from giving birth to another child and this is the path that God has chosen for me. I am more than thankful for this new life after losing a child. I am thankful, grateful and humbled He allowed me to get pregnant and have a baby around the same time of year to sort of "redeem" the fall again for me, to bring new happiness to a time when I was saddened to the core. I will always long for the day I can meet my child, and I will always remember. My child is forever a part of who I am but my heart has healed so much. I still cry and grieve but ultimately God has taken me under his wings and shown me His Great Love.<br>
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<br>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-14617585077304082062013-10-08T20:02:00.001-06:002013-10-08T20:02:24.782-06:00Soon there will be 5I've been talking about doing something like this weekend for a while. And then Richard's work blew up with the Floods here and I wondered if it would happen this year.<div>
Like everyone life is busy and it's hard to set time apart to do something as a family. But I think it's a crucial part of reclaiming sanity for me and my family. </div>
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We finally had a weekend where Richard was not on call and we had no other commitments. </div>
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First I wanted to go to Casa Bonita. A very well known restaurant/landmark if you've been living in Colorado for any length of time. It's a timeless place. Technically it's a Mexican restaurant. Although the food is AWFUL!!! And the ambiance is less than desired (to an adult). But it's an awesome time for kids. It's so hard to explain. The restaurant has a small diving pool that has divers doing little skits and cool dives from high above. There is a "scary" cave to walk through and oodles of other things for the kids to take in. While Richard and I tried to swallow a little bit of food to make the outrageous price seem a little worth it, and while we laughed at how our perspective changes so much from when you're a kid - our own children were in heaven. So much to look at and watch and see. They of course ate nothing but just watched everything! If you're ever in Denver and you have children - you need to visit Casa Bonita. A classic Landmark</div>
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Then we spent the night with Richard's brother who lives in Denver. And on Saturday woke up to a beautiful day for heading to the zoo. I've figured out since we moved to Colorado we have been to the Zoo each October. It's so fun to see children in awe at all the different animals. The zoo is one of my favorite places to take the children. Of course it's always nice to go with family too!! :) </div>
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I wanted amidst all the crazy busy-ness of life to have one last special weekend before life officially gets crazier. We are only a family of 4 for a little while longer and I wanted the boys to enjoy this time. I think we succeeded. We all had a really good weekend.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg54h7gtkynNB5pFNKFAKh9nbRE-LBzfLdPSZyW-fYmXuIZtz_kql9xgttxp-zPu0hxfyQyxefKBRlOkMM1hXXKzERyiNSiPEnGDBcVeGLCBTFrL8T-QiN4Pt1_mKwohztEX1VjdY0b_QTD/s1600/IMG_0675.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="406" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg54h7gtkynNB5pFNKFAKh9nbRE-LBzfLdPSZyW-fYmXuIZtz_kql9xgttxp-zPu0hxfyQyxefKBRlOkMM1hXXKzERyiNSiPEnGDBcVeGLCBTFrL8T-QiN4Pt1_mKwohztEX1VjdY0b_QTD/s640/IMG_0675.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-18845984297016409242013-09-22T20:29:00.001-06:002013-09-22T20:29:32.123-06:00A little update on the pregnancy.I write this post with a disclaimer. The topic I am about to write about first of all might not interest most people (and others it is very interesting). Second of all - it's sensitive because everyone's story is different. Everyone has an opinion and everyone thinks they know the way for everyone else. I have always been open here and I'm a firm believer that every mother chooses whats best for her and her baby and her situation. Everyone's lives, situations, bodies, experiences and opinions are all different. I simply am telling MY story. I have sisters, sister in laws, and many friends who have chosen completely different paths in many areas and I'm ok with that - I think you should be too. The way we give birth should not in any way define our status as mothers. We need to support each other as much as possible.<br />
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With that hopefully explained well, I will proceed.<br />
I am currently one day away from being 33 weeks pregnant. It gets closer and closer and that makes me happy. But on the other hand if you ask me how I'm doing be ready for my honest answer. Everything is healthy as far as I know and we have no concerns about anything. That is the good. The bad in two words so as not to drag it on - BIG and TIRED. :) (I think you'll get the drift with that)<br />
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This is the story I would love to tell about this pregnancy. Let's step back to my previous births, which I've written about <a href="http://jessandrichard.blogspot.com/2011/01/birth-stories.html">here</a> if you want more detail. Carson was an emergency c-section after getting to the pushing point of delivering. Landon was a successful Vaginal Birth After C-Section (VBAC), <u>although 6 weeks early</u>. Fast forward to this pregnancy. We are in another state with new doctors/midwives and new hospital.<br />
Of course having already delivered VBAC successfully I was fully anticipating being able to do that again with no problem and no questions asked. I am using a midwife for the first time who delivers at the hospital in town. I have been more than happy with this clinic and love them so much. But b/c I'm delivering in the hospital I have to have approval for a vbac with the OB's that this midwife clinic works with b/c technically I'm more at risk for a uterus rupturing. I met with the OB when I was about 21 weeks pregnant. At that time I am required to sign a consent knowing the risks involved in trying a vbac again. At this appointment the OB asked me if I knew what kind of closure I had for my c-section. Of course I have no idea b/c it wasn't a big deal where we delivered before. He told us we could go ahead with our plan, but try to get the records from the hospital so that he knew what the situation would be when I go to hospital.<br />
For anyone who doesn't know there is a single layer closure and a double layer closure. Some doctors/hospitals will not allow vbac when you have a single layer closure =claiming that you are at a higher risk for the uterus rupturing. (which has proven to not necessarily be the case).<br />
After trying to for more than 2 months to get my medical records and finally getting them, we find out that I am not allowed to do a VBAC under these OB's b/c I have a single layer closure!!!! Of course hearing this news at 31 weeks pregnant is not necessarily what I want to hear. My options at this time are 1)schedule a c-section 2) home birth b/c they do not have such policy here in CO or 3) drive over an hour drive to a hospital in Denver who will allow it no problem. Not necessarily good news to me.<br />
Richard and I spent a week of praying and researching our options and conversing for a long time with midwife (who happens to be as frustrated as we are or more so).<br />
After a week and half of waiting and discussing my midwife drafted a whole document of my case to present to the OB once again and fight my case and also start the process for changing the policy for everyone else. And God did a complete miracle. Something I had prayed about but wondered if it was ever possible. The doctor changed his mind, will let me labor on my own and try to deliver VBAC once again and the process has started for changing the policy in their practice!!!!!! This my friends is a miracle in my eyes.<br />
I am so thankful and grateful to God for giving me this gracious gift, for allowing us to continue as planned and working this small miracle for me.<br />
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Who knows how this delivery will go. Who knows what will happen. Both my other babies were completely different and both had such unexpected situations that it's hard for me to have any expectations or hopes for anything. But I am more than happy to be working with my midwife solely, and I trust her judgement completely. And I will completely rely on God to work all things out for his Glory and our Good.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-25326380033837272492013-09-13T09:38:00.000-06:002013-09-13T09:45:22.186-06:00Landon turns 3This weekend we celebrated Landon's 3rd Birthday. He turned 3 on Sept 8th. I know I've written about it a few times here but each time his birthday rolls around I marvel at how everything happened for his birth. How unexpected it was, how scared I was, how our family and church family came around us to help us out, how unprepared I was, how thankful I was to deliver VBAC, how hard it was to leave my baby at hospital in NICU, how much I saw God work all things out for His glory and our good! It's a marvelous story. Ask me about it sometime or go read <a href="http://jessandrichard.blogspot.com/2010/09/unprepared-and-unexpected.html">here</a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=466266515780">here</a>. :)<br />
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Landon is such a different person that Carson just like any parent says about their children's personalities. He is goofy, and easy going, intuitive and very intelligent, noticing many things throughout the day, and remembering things that I'm amazed at. His coordination is really improving and he's getting much more able to hold his own in the brother-wrestling matches. His laugh is utterly contagious and he melts my heart when he asks me to hold his hand to walk up any stairs (since I can't carry him anymore). Any time he starts to cry b/c he's hurt or sad or upset the first thing he says is "I want my blankie". The instant he gets it he stops crying as if it has some magic powers to make him feel better. I love his red hair and he still has those toddler chubby hands that I love looking at and holding. I am so so utterly thankful for this little man.<br />
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Anyone who has spent anytime with this little guy figures out fast that he is an "accessories man"! For some reason he always wants something put on him. Whether its socks, gloves, hats, masks, capes, shoes, glasses - you name it - he wants to wear it. It's such a funny thing for me. So for this birthday we got our fill of "accessories" for this little guy. He has a miriad of options now, a fedora spiderman hat, cape and mask, ninja mask and a few other things. And you betchya he is loving having so many options. He also loves swords and he is in heaven now that we have more than one sword in the household.:)<br />
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I love celebrating this little guy! </div>
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He makes me smile every day with something he says. (he also makes me pull</div>
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my hair out every day. :) )</div>
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And I'm beyond thankful God blessed us with him!</div>
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Here is a video and I thought it was so funny! I've never heard Carson sing any song</div>
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before (he's not a music guy) but it was so funny</div>
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hearing him and his friend sing to Landon</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-27407797011113746132013-09-07T14:26:00.001-06:002013-09-07T14:26:42.299-06:0029 Years!I really need to catch up on things going on in our life. this weekend a bunch more things are happening that I will want to blog about and I need to make sure I get this done first. :)<br /><br />September 1st was my 29th Birthday! If you know me at all, you know birthdays in general are a big deal and I don't necessarily shy away from telling people when my birthday is! :)<br />
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Anyways - needless to say - I was exhausted for my birthday and we had just moved the day before into a new place, and I was 29 and half weeks pregnant. Last year if you remember we went on a huge trip to Moab, UT and camped over night then stayed in Moab one night without the boys! That was grand!<br />
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This year was nice and sweet and not as big of a deal. But in the end, I have a great husband and family and group of friends who made me feel so special. It's so fun to celebrate another year of life that God has given you.<br />
B/c we had just moved and our kitchen was almost inaccessible and b/c it's my favorite thing to do - we went out for breakfast to my favorite place Snooze, in old town Fort Collins. It was amazing as usual. :)<br />
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Later that night Richard had completely surprised me with a little get together of some of my dearest friends with cake and ice cream. And I really was surprised. It was so nice.<br />
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I did have my semi annual emotional breakdown that afternoon - but what can you expect, I was tired, we had just moved, my house was in shambles, and I was 29 weeks preggo. :) It's laughable now and will probably always be held against me. :)<br />
All in all - it was a birthday I will never forget. Thank you to everyone who worked so hard at making me feel special that day!<br />
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Also - later in the week I had a dinner out with some of my dear dear running group friends. We try to go out for everyone's birthday and I love it! It was so fun for me since I don't see them very regularly anymore. They are together all the time running many times throughout the week. But it just made me even more excited about getting out there again hopefully before the end of the year. :) Thank you guys!!!!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-63622772433322296342013-09-07T14:14:00.000-06:002013-09-07T14:14:11.851-06:00A new place to call homeYes, it's officially been an entire week since we have relocated. It already feels like home.<br />
We moved just about a half mile or so from our old place. but we moved to a much bigger place. It still only has 2 bedrooms, but has an extra room in the basement and one car attatched garage and bedrooms are on second level, and the front door opens up to a nice outside grassy area. I have already been enjoying the new set up so much. No carpets in the dining room? Actually sweeping and mopping are some of my "favorite chores" and now the whole downstairs in laminate flooring!!!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg18ts8ERHFutpUVC5a4FHBOcVOXlWwZhOeOYFTqStUYDitgNomcglTjgQLc-a09aOqIVaX4QqY_CThvrf86gbE_8F8Zwseqe1Rs0t909i6J0zbvccloyzdNxoTONVdMOiBz5vpfxRFmn7h/s1600/IMG_20130902_092659.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg18ts8ERHFutpUVC5a4FHBOcVOXlWwZhOeOYFTqStUYDitgNomcglTjgQLc-a09aOqIVaX4QqY_CThvrf86gbE_8F8Zwseqe1Rs0t909i6J0zbvccloyzdNxoTONVdMOiBz5vpfxRFmn7h/s640/IMG_20130902_092659.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The boys in the front yard one morning</td></tr>
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The week leading up to the move was a whirlwind. We didn't find out we were moving until exactly a week before we were needing to be out of our old place. Which in my opinion is a much better way to move. None of this drawn out business of packing boxes for a whole month. The monday before the move I had done too much and was really not feeling well at all. I remember thinking literally, "will I even survive this week and everything that needs to be demanded of my body?" I had the baby I watch 5 days that week, 2 crazy boys, and one baby in my belly. And it was going to be HOT out! I prayed to God that night that he would give me unexplained strength and work all things out!<br />
As the week progressed I was amazed. I had so much help. From a lot of people taking the boys for me for hours on end, to others coming to help me pack and move boxes around. Richard was also able to do more at nights than usual, and we were so thankful. Saturday, Aug 31st rolled around and we had so much help for the move. Another friend took my boys for the whole morning. I felt like I hardly had to do anything besides get the food. We had so much help and I was truly blessed by that!<br />
Somehow I'm still exhausted - but felt relatively well through the whole transition and I know it's b/c of my community of friends and church around me that helped us through this time in our lives and God's grace to me through his church.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What the kitchen looked like right after everything was brought over</td></tr>
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Now we've been in our new house for a week! The boys love it. We have 2 toilets and its so funny to hear the boys ask "which one should I use?" or "We have so many bathrooms". :) There is plenty of room for them to roam and play. And we are settling in so nicely. We look forward to blessing many through this condo and being a light to our complex. We still have some unpacking and organzing to do and it's going much slower than previous moves, but I'm trying to be ok with that and realize that we have a long time to do it and there is no rush.<br />
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Now the pictures (that are specifically for my mom and dad who I know are dying to see it)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The outside and front door</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The kitchen looking from front door</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dining room looking from kitchen (front door<br />on the left in the back)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Living room (looking from front door, kitchen is<br />just to the left of picture) Stairs to the second<br />floor</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Basement "play room". Storage/laundry room is<br />on the right in the corner of picture</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boys bedroom</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">our bedroom (and Landon taking a nap<br />on our bed :) )</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-81167652375092270812013-08-24T20:21:00.001-06:002013-08-24T20:21:49.613-06:00No place like homeJust wanted to give a quick update about our lives here. Many people knew that we were looking for a new/bigger place to live. We had been talking about it for a long time, but only until about the last month and half had we really started looking.<br />
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Our apartment that we've lived in for two years has served us well. It wasn't the nicest place, but once you put your own stuff in it and make it your own - it was liveable. As the boys got bigger and now adding to our family, plus watching another baby, plus being on the third floor - it was just time for our family to move on.<br />
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If you've searched for housing recently you will know and understand how frustrating of a process it is. Fort Collins has lots of rentals, but also a high demand due to the college. Prices are high and spaces not very conducive to a 5 person family (plus one most days all day). There are things to consider -like location, outside area, space inside, price and many many more things. If I went into explanation of all the different situations we looked at you would probably laugh. We considered sharing a house with a stranger, moving into a "fixer-upper", college shared guys house, and many more! All having their own different pros and cons. I feel like we've been talking housing so much lately, and been consumed with looking, calling and praying, and discussing!<br />
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This place that we have just signed the lease for we saw very early on in the process, and I liked it right away. The price was at the very tip top of our price range. The landlord told us we had some time to think about it and she wasn't showing it to anyone in the meantime. After prayer and thought we offered them $100 less than what they asked for thinking that if they denied it we would move on, and if they accepted it we would pray really hard about whether to take it. Meanwhile we kept looking waiting to hear back.<br />
Anyways - long story short - they accepted, after a process we passed the background check and we finally got an appointment to sign the lease!!!!!<br />
We are so thankful for God providing this place for us - and hope that we can use it to serve his people and love our neighbors, and community in a more efficient way.<br />
We love the landlord, we are on the main level (so I will be seeking a new form of exercise instead of walking up three flights of stairs all the time), we have a basement/playroom/guestroom and storage area, a one car garage and a pool very accessible.<br />
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Please come by for a visit!!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-67653955665651547082013-08-15T09:28:00.002-06:002013-08-15T09:32:55.968-06:00Another milestoneIt's so hard for me to believe that it's been 2 years since we packed up our belongings and moved to a far away place where we knew one person, with no job, and had never seen our apartment. August 15th 2011 we pulled out of PA, Richard driving the huge moving truck, while I drove the car behind him with the two boys, leaving the comfort, the familiarity, our amazing friends and some family behind, to start this amazing journey in the good ol' Colorado.<br />
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Thinking back on those feelings of total mixed emotions - it just can't be two years ago already!!!<br />
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Richard and I have moved a couple times across the country, all of which we didn't know very many if any people, and we have always said it takes about 2 years before you feel completely adjusted and at home and comfortable in your new surroundings.<br />
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Well - I can officially say that's true. It didn't just happen today that I feel comfortable - but looking back over time, I can fully say this is my home! Just this week the three times I went to run errands I just ran into someone I knew at each place. I distinctly remember when we first moved here feeling so weird that everywhere I went no one knew me and I didn't know anyone. Now I go to stores and I almost always run into someone I know or at least recognize. So it's official - WE'RE HOME!!!<br />
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It's fun for me to look back at what it was like when we first moved here and to how different things are today. Landon was almost a year old, he was still drinking from a bottle and not walking yet. Now he is a full on toddler boy doing everything on his own. Carson wasn't potty trained or even close yet, and now he is almost ready for school. I didn't even have a smart phone or instagram yet!!! What did I do???!!!?? hehehe<br />
These two pictures are soon after we moved here, September 2011, and then Mother's day - May 2013<br />
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The church had about 60 people coming regularly. We jumped in and started serving wherever we could. We have grown in our own spiritual lives learning more about our God and his mission and plan for us. The church now has close to 200 people there regularly and is still growing more and more. We went from not knowing anyone in the church -to feeling like these are some of the closest friends we have had, sharing our lives together. There are some more updates that will be happening that I will be sharing soon as far as the church goes. It's all so exciting.<br />
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Even the trials and blessings that Richard and I have faced in these last two years have been some of the most intense in our marriage. From the pain of losing one of our precious babies to the excitement of anticipating the arrival of another baby. From financial worries to how God has provided for us in amazing ways! From the busyness of life to the great trips we've been able to take.<br />
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The only thing that hasn't changed is the apartment we are living in - but we hope to have that change in the near future. But more on that later too as things develop. :)<br />
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All these things happen in 2 years! And it is amazing to reflect back on!<br />
Here's to another wonderful 2 years in the Good Ol' Colorado.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-30443700514541624302013-08-13T09:38:00.000-06:002013-08-14T07:24:58.674-06:00Pregnancy UpdateAs I write this I'm currently 27 weeks. One week away from entering my third trimester. I'm so thankful for this precious baby. God has chosen to bless us with this precious boy! and I could not be more thankful for that gift.<br />
A couple weeks ago I started experiencing some contractions consistently for an afternoon and swelling in my hands and feet. I took that as a sign that I definitely need to slow down and take it easy. I have stayed home a lot more and try to not do too much as far as meeting with people or going to places. This is not normal for me. I'm very social and always willing to go out for a play date or something - but I need to slow down. The whole carrying a baby (nevermind the one inside my belly), plus all our stuff, toys, lunches, etc up and down three flights of stairs (plus every once in a while a tired cranky toddler boy) was just wearing on my body. So I stay home more and just try to take it easy as much as I can. The swelling is still happening (nothing too serious) but the contractions and cramping have gotten better.<br />
I've had a lot more back pain with this one too. I know it's due to being my third full pregnancy and ligaments and muscles not being what they were before, and carrying a year old baby around all the time. Some women handle pregnancies with grace and strength. Not me. They are hard on my body.<br />
Pregnancies have never gone fast for me, no matter how busy I am through them. But I am very glad to be entering the final stage of this pregnancy. I have a date set of when I will stop taking care of the little girl I watch. We are also trying to find a place to move to and hopefully be moving before the baby comes. (but no promises) We have looked at a lot of places and look online every single day multiple times a day. So please be in prayer that we find a good place for a good price and that timing works out with baby and everything else.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">26 weeks and 6 days</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-78429434831230944852013-08-13T09:18:00.001-06:002013-08-13T09:18:20.188-06:002nd Annual Camping TripThis past weekend we got to experience our second annual camping trip as a Life Group! This special group of people have become so dear to my heart as we share life together helping each other shine as lights in this world.<br />
We had a great time, with lots of food, and fires, smores and conversation. This time we all had kids so we could all share in the "joys" that kids bring when you're camping. We had awesome weather. No rain at all which is crazy b/c it's been storming every day practically. I was especially thankful for no storms. :) It was a just a nice time to relax and enjoy creation and quietness from busyness of life. (although we all agree it's not restful at all :) )<br />
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P.S. I always hate taking pictures during events like this. But I always, ALWAYS regret not having more! I need to remember that in the moment. :)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-84589652661064607072013-08-05T15:51:00.000-06:002013-08-05T15:53:43.045-06:00A day for the History BooksThis past Saturday we got to do something that will forever be remembered hopefully. If you've known my husband and my boys for any amount of time you know they are die hard Broncos fans! The Broncos put on a show for their fans every year. They open up their stadium for their fans to watch a practice and a scrimmage for free right before Pre season starts. We decided to go and see what it's all about, knowing that we will probably never have a chance to see a real game :)<br />
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Well the morning/afterncgoon didn't turn out how we expected due to Richard's work. (that's another whole story in and of itvself). But in the end we decided to still try and go. We left our house a little later than hoped and it also happened to be the years biggest hail/rain storm that hit. It was crazy. Now you also know that Richard works for home insurance companies when they have some sort of water damage or fire damage. So his phone lit up the whole evening. He was of course on call and was taking them. We were stressed out that we would have to turn around and go back home the whole time! For some reason - we never did have to go back for him to go to jobs, but all that I don't really understand about his work. Anyways - after our car having issues multiple times getting down there to Denver (which is another story for another day) (I have a lot of those in this story), and phone calls galore about work - we eventually made our way to the stadium. We got there about 6:30. The practice was supposed to start at 7pm and the actual scrimmage at 8pm. WE found good seats and were super excited about it. The boys were in AWE. And really the crowds weren't as bad as we were anticipating.<br />
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Shortly after we got situated with a little food - the wind started to blow, the lightening and thunder started. (now if you know me at all - this is worst case scenario for me). We went back into the section where food and bathrooms are and decided to wait it out. B/c what storm in Colorado really lasts that long???!!?! Well apparently this one! It downpoured for a very long time. I mean DOWN POURED! People slowly kept coming under the shelter literally soaking wet, giving up on the the hopes that the rain would stop shortly.<br />
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Finally it started to slow down. The players came out on the field. and the people who wanted to stick it out ran back out to the seats. By this time we could get really good seats. Of course we forgot our huge wonderful umbrella in the car, due to the confusion of work calls non stop before we left it. :) They practiced a little and then started a scrimmage. The field is soaking wet, it's pretty chilly and I'm sure they don't want to cause any inujuries right before the season. So they didn't scrimmage very long, just enough to give us a little show. Then it was over. WE were able to get an autograph - but we only had two ball caps and the sharpie didn't work well on it b/c of course it was sopping wet. :( Oh well there is a little bit of a "D" on it. For number 30 - but I have no idea what his name is. :)<br />
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Even though pretty much nothing about the day worked out how we planned or thought - we truly had a great time. The boys were in awe and thought it was so cool. We have great memories as a family - and we were as close to Peyton Manning and Vaughn Miller as we will probably ever be. :)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-8569141369717678892013-07-25T15:54:00.002-06:002013-07-25T15:54:53.888-06:00Today - I said "Yes"This last week for our family has been, for lack of a better way to say it, pretty crummy. But for no apparent reason. Especially because I know that we are completely blessed and my God loves us and takes care of us.<br />
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But some days, despite that truth, life gets hard. Work is stressful, kids are very disobedient, my body is tired from everything, and things keep piling up of our own responsibilities.<br />
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So today I was determined after having "miserable" days with the boys that I would do something really fun and different with them. And not get on their case all day for "doing the right thing" or not doing something that they are doing. Some days are filled with the word "NO". It's like they keep asking to have, or do, or use, or break everything that they know I say "no" to.<br />
But today I was determined to not care about all the little things, let them be boys and run and play and indulge a little. I contacted my friend and asked if she wanted to take all the kiddos to a fun place with me. And it turned out to be perfect.<br />
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I said yes to a lollipop found in the front console of our car at 10:00 in the morning, I said yes to taking a baggie of cereal in the car with us. I said yes to playing on the playground when I wanted to start walking towards our destination. I said yes to taking off your shoes and getting in the water. I said yes to throwing sticks, to carrying sticks, to running ahead of me. I said yes to eating a small piece of chocolate, to the fruit snacks he wanted.I said yes to reading books even though I'm tired of it. I said yes to licking my spoon, to stirring the batter (even though it makes a mess and takes longer).<br />
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And you know what??!?<br />
We have had a great day! The boys are doing so well. We're so relaxed and calm and thankful. Some days all you need is a change of pace, a new focus and everyone feels better. :) Try IT!<br />
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<u>A day like today was just what this weary family needed in this crazy thing called LIFE!</u><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-63353978977982084682013-07-20T14:19:00.000-06:002013-07-20T14:19:26.385-06:00Contemplations by the pool<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I think back to my life a year ago this time, and everything we were doing and experiencing I remember joy and happiness and almost an innocence to reality of life. Then I jump to last year September when I found out I was pregnant and the utter joy that brings to a mom. I was so happy and ready to do it all over again. But then shortly after I experienced a deep deep sorrow that mothers' feel when they never get to meet their child, or hold them or kiss them. My heart was ripped apart and I felt I could hardly breathe some hours. It was a long, lonely journey that one can only understand after you've experienced it. But my heart was softened, was tenderized, it was brought to a new sort of dependence on God for strength. <b><u>It gave me completely new eyes for this whole motherhood journey.</u></b> It gave me more compassion than I realized I needed.<br />
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I remember thinking in those early days - how will<br />
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I move on? How will I operate like normal again? I remember wondering what it would be like during this summer for me, would I be ok?<br />
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And then Time Went By - here I am, 10 months later, only two months away from the "year mark". God has brought healing and restoration to my soul. I'm still a work in progress but through it all HE IS FAITHFUL.<br />
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When I was in the moment of tragedy it was impossible to fathom joy again, to enjoy my days. I wondered if I would ever get there. In the last ten months so much has happened to our family. We went from a grieving family to a joyful one in the anticipation of another child. Which I might add brought on a whole new flood of emotions that I've never experienced before. Work for Richard got really stressful and much has happened with that. We are a growing family in so many ways trying to figure out our place in the "place" God has us in right now. We have experienced a new form of "busyness" that we never knew before. And somehow the intensity of "life" just keeps getting more "INTENSE".<br />
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This little blog here, facebook, instagram give such little glimpses into our lives that from the outside is hard to really tell what is actually going on. Or it's easy to misinterpret things.<br />
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But I guess what I want to come across in this little post is that life keeps going. In my tragedy I read/listened to other mother's who had experienced loss before me - and longingly wondered if I would ever get to a place where they were. Now here I am, 10 months out, and the wounds hurt less. <b><u>But</u></b> I have never forgotten. Those were two fears I had - that the pain would always be unbearable or that I would just move on and forget. But that doesn't happen.<br />
Somehow God bestows grace upon grace - he heals your hearts and holds you with his loving arms. He knows you and cares more about you than you will ever understand. He gave his own son to die for you, so you don't have to pay for your own sinfulness. Life keeps going, new things happen, new joys come again, there are ups, and downs - but in it all - God is constant, He guides you. I have learned that God has a different unique path for each person. Things you experience or challenge you or bring joy to you are different than mine - but ultimately God has a bigger plan in mind of his ultimate glorification - that we will worship Him!<br />
My prayer now is "Lord, please use me, help me to never forget your love. Carry me through this thing called "life" but let it be worthy of praising you! Let it bring glory to You!"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7335886830124216822.post-29915441187441578682013-07-16T09:32:00.000-06:002013-07-16T09:45:13.383-06:00Camping on the Grand MesaOne thing we promised ourselves we would do as much as possible once we moved to Colorado was go camping!!!! Richard being from Colorado just couldn't bring himself to camp in the woods in the East b/c of the humidity and the fact that it doesn't cool off much at night.<br />
Let me just say that Colorado has some beautiful places to camp. It's the perfect thing to do with our little family. We all love being outdoors. I love seeing the boy's faces filled with excitement about the prospect of sleeping in a tent and getting to use a fire to cook our food. There's something to say about boys and fires, for sure!<br />
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This time we drove 6 hours over the rockies to a place known as the Grand Mesa, a humongous flat top mountain that is filled with lakes, located on the western slope. (which ironically no one knows about, except if you're from that area). We met Richard's parents there and his brother with his family. We got there about noonish. Set up camp, ate lunch, and then went fishing. All the kids had been anticipating going fishing so much. We had bought the boys little fishing rods. The fishing wasn't too good sadly. I think it was a little disappointing for the kids. Grandpa caught 2 fish later in the evening after supper but that's all the fish that were caught! It was crazy! It could be that the kids were being very loud and throwing rocks in the water that didn't help our situation. But the kids even got to see 2 bears in the evening which cut a fishing trip a little short. :) But they keep talking about it! :)<br />
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We all split the meals up and we ate like kings. :) It's easy to do that when you only camp one night. I think my favorite part about camping is waking up, starting a fire and warming up by the fire, making camp fire coffee and cooking a big breakfast. Mom Gardner made a huge breakfast - with pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns, bacon and sausage!!!! It was awesome!<br />
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It was just a wonderful time! The kids loved exploring the woods, camping, throwing things in the water. Carson got pretty good at casting that morning after! I was impressed. too bad he didn't catch anything that would've been even more exciting for him. Landon fell into the lake, of course! I knew he would do it before we left. It's just what he does! :)<br />
I hope we can keep it up as a tradition. :)<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16107415352110133366noreply@blogger.com1