Gender Announcement

The Great Anticipation of what Gender baby you're going to be having!!!!!

Big deal in my mind! I'm always so excited to find out what gender the baby is.

Well baby #3 is

I'm 20 weeks and 5 days!!!!

A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

We are so happy! I have loved being the only the girl in the house - and I know it will only get better since I have tons of boys. I will never have to carry groceries in the house, mow the lawn, wash the car, lift heavy things, or even open my car door as they get older. (hehehehe).

And to answer everyone's question that I know I will get - yes, I think it's safe to say most people would like to have one of each gender. But God has brought me through a lot the last 10 months. I have learned to trust Him on the path that he has for our lives, especially when it comes to my children and how my family will look. He has chosen to bless me with three boys! I embrace it and am so thrilled and excited. I was not disappointed (even though I thought I would be). 

Mostly right now - I love that I know what gender my baby is and I cannot wait to meet him.  As far as healthy - I will update on that later. The U/S tech didn't say much and my doctor will have the results and call me on Monday. I'm pretty sure everything looked good - but I cannot understand those ultra sound screens worth anything! 

I just had to add this one. The boys get a
kick out of taking the pictures
with me and Landon was so cute in this one

Life Group -

Many of you know that we attend the church The Crossing and that we are very involved. We moved to CO to be a part of what's going on with this church and we LOVE it! One of the two pillars the church has is Life Groups. Really the only structure we have are Sunday Gatherings and then during the week - life groups. Through these two avenues we live out the Great commission.

Richard leads a life group on Thursday night. The people that attend this group are some of my closest friends since moving to CO. Life group is a place to serve each other, serve the church, and serve the community. A place where you seek counsel, give advice, encourage, help, rebuke, and with fear of sounding cliche "live life together". A place to introduce my community around me to the love of Jesus Christ.

This last weekend we had a fun weekend planned. Most of us made it and it was such a sweet time. We all drove up to Gypsum in the mountains and stayed at a Ranch (owned by the family of a member of our life group). It was truly a wonderful, refreshing time. We got to know each other in better ways and truly enjoy each other's company.

We also enjoyed a strawberry festival in the near by town, golfing for the guys, pool time for families and a lot of really good food brought/made by all, smores by the fire, games, a lot of talking, porch sitting, and not much Sleeping. It was perfect!!!!

Company

If you've known me for any amount of time, you know that I love being around people. I don't necessarily enjoy doing anything alone. I've always been that way. I can't say that I ever remember being tired of being with people. (I know, not very many people are like this, and I don't really know why I am like this).

I absolutely LOVE when people come to visit. If I'm honest with you all,]- I hope someone comes to my door all the time. I never mind when people just drop by for a long visit or a quick one. It never stresses me out.
So If you were to come to my house today it would make my day. This is maybe a little scenario of what would take place. Hopefully I would hear just as much about your life with all this conversation.
I would ask if you wanted anything to eat or drink. We would sit on the couch and just talk. (after we put the cushions back on the couch b/c my boys always take them off and jump on them. :) )

1. I would tell you how I wish I liked coffee. Since being pregnant I just don't really want hot coffee. I always try to drink it thinking I will like it, but it's just not that appealing to me. Now Iced anything coffee and Hot Lattes are still acceptable. :) I guess it's good my body reacts this way when I'm pregnant so I don't drink too much caffeine

2. My living room would have children's books all over, cars and random toys and probably some blankets and pillows.  There would probably be dishes in the sink and I would complain about our trash can smelling b/c of something I put in it. :) And I would probably have some sort of laundry either dirty waiting to be washed, washed but not folded, or folded and just not put away. B/c it takes me about 3 or in this weeks' case 4 days to do all those steps. :) OH and Dust - there would be dust in many places b/c I don't dust very often. :) Hope you're ok with that.

3. My boys would talk to you and tell you all crazy things they come up with for the first 15-20 min b/c they get just as excited when people show up. :)

4. I would tell you much God has changed me in this whole mothering journey. From thinking I knew how to do everything and have the best behaved children to understanding the huge responsibility and difficulty of raising godly children. From thinking I can control every aspect of how my family looks to knowing God ultimately has a unique plan for all of us. From being so proud of myself to completely surrendered to God's grace and thanking him for forgiving me for my failings about every 5 minutes.

5. I would ask how you're doing! How is mothering going for you? How is school going? how is married life? What do you think about life? I love hearing people's stories.

6. I would be interrupted literally a million times by my children and the baby that I watch for many things like snacks, drinks, toys, watching tv, playing the kindle and who knows what else they come up with asking me when I'm talking to someone. And I would really hope that it doesn't bother you that communication is so broken up.

7. I would tell you the frustrations in Richard's job, but how we are trying to pray about things and figure it all out. Being amazed at how God provides for us, and also trying to be wise in our decisions.

8. I would tell you how good of a father Richard is. That he does so well with the boys. I always tease him that he makes me look like a bad mom b/c they enjoy him so much. :)

9. I would tell you that Carson since he turned 4 has shown huge signs of maturity that I never expected. He's just growing up before our eyes. And that the other day we were watching videos of when he was a baby, and I can't believe I forget so much of what he was like.

10. i would tell you about our "worries" with where to move/live in the hopefully very near future. That I'm thankful for our apartment and that it's cheap rent, but that I'm also pretty sick of a lot of things. But I will then wish I didn't complain about it all so much

Soon it would be time for you to leave. I would tell you a million times how happy I was that you came by. And hope that we can do it again soon. To catch up on more areas of our lives.
Until next time . . .

What's in a date?

This week (wednesday to be exact) marks my official due date of my precious baby that I did not get to hold or see. Something goes for saying that this date is very significant to me. Even though the chances of my baby being born on that actual day are not high - it is still a time of deep sorrow. It's a date I've been dreading b/c I knew how emotional it would be for me. In fact just writing this I have tears streaming down my face!
The memories of extreme pain I felt in those first days, the thoughts of what could've been, the intense desire to know what my baby is like and hold my baby - those are all things that make this time memorable and worth mentioning. There has not been a day that goes by that I do not think of my baby about 20 times probably.  Even though now I operate like a normal person and am not physically affected by my loss - my heart and my mind are always thinking about my baby and tears are not too far behind, even though I most people don't realize that.
The world around me has completely moved on which I totally get and hold no grudge. But once a mother looses her dear child she will never forget.
I think the ending of this time frame for me is bitter sweet. Sweet because it's almost like a chance to start moving past this time in my life, and bitter because there's a huge part of me that never wants to let go, never wants to move on.
I realize more than ever the gift of Life, something I could never have appreciated so much without going through this trial. I am more than blessed and grateful to be expecting another child. This is a gift God chose to give me that some women never get to experience. I do not take it lightly. But that will never make me feel better about the loss of my precious babe. No matter what you say to me, that will never make me feel better.
Last Sunday and this Sunday during worship and the sermon I was brought to tears. Something I never really experienced before the last 9 months. But worshipping my God who has walked with me so closely and carried me through such dark times is so impactful to me. I'm brought to uncontrollable tears sometimes. My trust in a God who loves me and cares for me and my heart to worship Him have grown so much! May His name be glorified in this stage in my life.
We sang this song today at church and it is another one of my favorites for this time in my life. I cling to the words as I claim these truths.

"Cornerstone" by Hillsong

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly trust in Jesus name

Christ alone; cornerstone
Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of all

When Darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
My anchor holds within the veil

Christ alone; cornerstone
Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of all

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

This weekend one of my dear dear friends that I have made since moving here, who understands me and cares about me, offered to watch the boys for us so Richard and I could get away for a night to just reflect, rest, pray together and have some quiet time. She knew this time would be difficult for me and blessed me beyond words. I don't know that she understands how much that meant to me and how much I will remember that kindness.

 One psalm that I have gone to many times and have marked in my bible is Psalm 27

Vs 5 For he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock.

v. 13-14 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of theLord

in gthe land of the living!

14 hWait for the Lord;

ibe strong, and let your heart take courage;

wait for the Lord

There is probably way better ways to say this, and way more I will wish I said later. But for now I leave post with you. Remember my precious Baby this week with me.

16 (almost 17)

Well I made it posting this one, 1 day before I officially turn 17 weeks. Although I did take the picture earlier. ( I take the picture on life group day b/c I actually get dressed to go somewhere)

Not much new to update. I'm getting bigger by the second. I'm on the cusp of feeling fantastic. :) I am able to function like a normal human being, and my appetite is back in full force. I'm running consistently about 12-14 miles a week (it's hard and not as enjoyable, but I still feel good doing it), and walking and active, but weight keeps piling on by the speed of light.

The boys are convinced we're getting a sister and will have it no other way. I have no inclination either way. And honestly God has brought me through so much, that my thankfulness for life inside of me so far outweighs any specific desire for gender.

June and July are filling up quickly and that makes me happy. Stay tuned!