It's a daunting task

Look at my two blessings!!!!!!
How could I ever get frustrated with those two little
ones running all around???!?!!?

Motherhood - is a daunting task! Well parenting in general, I can't forget that Richard also has a huge responsibility to raise children and feels the weight of it too.

I'm busy! I fail miserably! I get so selfish in my own desires and in turn get frustrated when my desires are interrupted.
There are days when I feel so irritated and frustrated at the events that happen. Or to be quite honest with you - listening to Carson talk literally NON-STOP. No break! and repeating himself a gazillion times. Do other toddlers do this? I have never heard a toddler talk/repeat as much as he does! How do I get it to be toned down a little???? (my natural reaction to things is getting frustrated, I rarely cry about anything, but I get "mad" very easily about situations, i always wish i cried instead, it seems less sinful)

Now that Carson is getting older I'm sensing the urgency to teach him about life and godliness. He understands and speaks so much! To teach him about the wonderful God who gave his only son, to redeem us, even though we do not deserve it. About a Loving God who desires our hearts praise and obedience. A God who I want to serve with my whole heart, and love and praise, THE KING- but also the God that I fail daily, minutely. How do I teach him these things?
I've heard it said before we have to breathe it all day long for it to overflow from us. But I fail at that. It's so daunting to me this huge responsibility. I realize as days pass me by that I have already failed.

But this is where the good news comes in. God is bigger than me. He gives me wisdom to handle the situations and he can calm my heart and mind. I have the Holy Spirit in me to guide me and help me throughout the day. And God's ways are bigger than my ways. His Will will be done despite myself. And I will revel in his goodness and grace towards me, b/c I know that if any good happens in this household it is not b/c of me or my "good parenting" but b/c God is gracious to me to give me that gift. I just need to trust Him and obey him and show my children love.

I compare my "parenting skills" to other mothers or families and I am either encouraged or very discouraged. I need to just focus on our lives and what my boys need from me.
I pray that I don't waste this precious time with them. I pray that they see, through their mother and father, a loving God that wants to see them accept his gift, . It's daunting to say the least - and I feel very inadequate  or "not godly enough" to be the one to teach them these things. I wonder if we have enough purpose in our parenting (sometimes I feel like we are flying by the seat of our pants for each new "fit" that happens) - but I need to trust God, I need to learn and obey his Word.

Any advice?

Here's to trusting God to poor grace into our lives despite this sinful mother!!!

Linking up with women living well

Every Mother has to have one

A picture of her baby sleeping at the Lunch Table that is! I must say I think this is the first time this has happened! Poor little guy. He is transitioning to no morning nap, but obviously still needs one some days. This weekend was pretty busy for him, and I knew he was so tired this morning but didn't lay him down thinking he would sleep good this afternoon for me. But poor guy - couldn't make it. It is 11:54am at this point, so I put him down to bed and moved Carson's naptime up earlier too! Here's to hoping they both still sleep a lot time.

I surivved!!!

Well folks - I am overjoyed that Richard made it home safely. some of you might take this post as me being a wimp, and I'm completely aware that my circumstances are very minimal compared to many of my friends who this happens to a lot. But Richard was gone for about one night and two days.

First off - let me say - I hate sleeping by myself. In my younger days I was seriously scared a lot!!!! and even growing up drove my sisters nutzo b/c I always wanted to sleep in their room and not my own. I have since "grown up" and also recognized my sinfulness in being so afraid and that God is always with me and loves me and protects me, but that was a long road and one that I sometimes still battle. But God has given me a lot of grace.
Very few times has Richard left me in our marriage, like probably only 2 or 3 counting this time. And those times I just planned to visit my sister for that time.  I'm usually the one that leaves. And it's much easier when I leave with the kiddos b/c I'm going to my sister's house, or with my mom, or with family or friends. It's a whole other story when he leaves and I'm stuck at home. :(

He was flying to somewhere in Ohio, like Columbus or something, getting picked up by a random man (he did this with another co-worker) who sold 2 box trucks to his boss here in CO. Then as soon as they did the transfer of titles etc they started the long trek back to CO. He flew out on Weds morning and got home around midnight last night! Boy - was he tired. It was almost our move all over again, like 20 hrs or something like that. (it did take them a little longer than that I think)

I knew the trip was coming up and I did try to see if anyone I knew (which is not that many ppl) wanted to stay with me. Nothing ended up working out, and I would never ask a friend to leave their husband to come stay with me. Overall though, the time was fine and nothing major happened, and I'm pretty sure the boys hardly noticed.

I drove down to take him to airport then back again. We went to the park for lunch. Then to the library. I wanted to exchange some books and we ended up getting the movie "UP". (He loved that movie) That night good friends invited us for dinner which was so nice b/c I would've just cooked Mac and Cheese. :) When we came home I put Landon to bed, and Carson and I made popcorn and watched part of the movie. He was in Heaven. :)
Thurs morning - he watched the end of the movie while eating pancakes (a sure treat in our house, usually that's a dinner commodity). It was a beautiful day out, so we enjoyed lunch at the park again for a while. Both days boys slept great during naps, and at night and for that I'm extremely thankful.
We made a "welcome home" sign with water colors for Daddy and had a long bubble bath and let them play for a while.
I tried to accomplish very little throughout the days and really just enjoyed spending time with the boys - trying not to watch the clock in anticipation to Richard's arrival. I noticed that made a huge difference b/c they had my attention and I was not stressed about accomplishing certain things.
He did get home very late, around midnight, last night. He was tired and drove a very long time in an uncomfortable Box Truck.

he is home and back at work again. and we are thankful to have him home.

I survived one night by myself in our house and actually I slept pretty good and didn't "fret" too much about anything. I honestly don't know how my friends do that for extended period of times and often. I know that is so much work for one person. I admire you all. (and you all really think I'm a wimp too ) I hope that it does get a little easier with time though. For now - I will enjoy the Richard's company and help even more!

Been struggling with what to write recently. We haven't been doing much exciting, and I have been very uninspired about what to write. I fear sounding pessimistic and "unbiblical" and don't want to offend people or sound too self consumed.

A little about what's going on -
-We've been staying busy having people over to our house, watching football games, eating food and also enjoying the social things that take place. Getting to know wonderful people.
-I've been keeping up running - the cold and dark make it hard. But today I found a group to run with on weds mornings, so that makes me happy.
-Richard's work is going great! He has had a few more late nights and unexpected things -which is to be expected - and we are thankful for the work and the provision for our family.
-Landon is 14 months old, yesterday! I cannot believe it. (time for another one, :) jk, sorta hahahaha) He is still so sweet and so cute. Although he is getting a little feistier and showing his opinion more - he is still so laid back and easy going. He is walking like crazy and it really is the cutest thing ever. Brightens my day every day!

this just makes me laugh!

-Carson's little stint of "draining my parents of all confidence and energy" has calmed down. I'm pleased to let you all know - our days are much more peaceful and filled with much more obedience choices and for that I am very thankful.

I love this smile!

-Richard is on his first "business trip" (first time for me that I could not go to my sister's house :( ). We tried to enjoy our time with going to library, watching a special movie way past our bedtime, eating lunch at a park, and we plan to not do much else tomorrow waiting for him to come home. :)
-we really love living back in CO, and especially Fort Collins. It is a great city to move to.
-I miss the comfort-ability in relationships that I had in PA, but I'm also excited for the new ones here in CO. It's a process and teaches me my selfishness and how much I need to depend on God for my joy and satisfaction, and not relationships with friends or my husband. (this by the way is a very long process that for sure I have not accomplished, even close, but I'm a work in progress)
-did I mention in about 14 days we will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary???!?!!! yeah, can you tell I'm excited. I love to look forward to and celebrate any milestone. I think we actually might get to do something special too - more on that to come. :)

He truly is my best friend
and Love of my life

-Have been convicted and challenged and encouraged a lot lately on my attitude towards Motherhood, enjoying the moments, understanding the privilege it is. I've been contemplating so much how the mother sets the tone for the household, how much of a responsibility I have to raise these children. Mulling a lot of that sorta stuff over. But nothing too concrete to share with you all. Not very eloquent tonight.

Ok - that's enough rambling. Maybe next post will be a little more exciting. Until then - have a good week everyone. It's late and I should head to bed now! sweet dreams!

Should I be?

Stressed that is? Should I be stressed? Or should I be doing something that I'm not?

I've been reading all over Facebook about everyone getting all their Christmas shopping done, and even wrapping their presents already, and their Christmas cards done and probably mailed out too!!!! I was really started to get STRESSED out about not getting on the ball.

But - FOR ME - i decided to just RELAX about it all. I will get it all done. Sure there is a lot to get done, but I want to enjoy the days and enjoy the season. I get so annoyed at the commercialism of Christmas, stores started selling decorations a LONG time ago, places are already decorating for Christmas. For Pete's sake!!!! Settle down a little!

I like to enjoy fall - Thanksgiving, and our anniversary. (it's our 5 year anniversary, so we're going to live it up big :) ) (in our own simple little way hehehehe)

Maybe come December I will wish i did more ahead of time. But it really doesn't take me that long to send out my Christmas cards. (like one night of ordering them, and 2 nights of addressing and labeling them) the present buying is just a matter of brainstorming and buying and then mailing out or wrapping. No Big Deal, right? :)

Christmas can be a really busy time of year, but I want to enjoy it still. I want to NOT be frantic and do it simple. Enjoy decorating the house, enjoy all the extra baking and party-going.  And especially i want to enjoy Fall!

Should I be stressed out about Christmas already?????
Everyone is different and everyone has busy lives in different areas. It would stress me out too much to start doing things already for way longer time. Other's like to have it done so they don't not worry about it later. So to each their own. But I decided for ME - to sit back, blog a little, read a few books with the boys, smell a little fall candle, go for a run, and face the Christmas Chaos after our anniversary.

p.s. I hope I don't regret this. :)
p.s.s. no that picture is not taken from me, I googled an image, but it is fall in CO :)

2nd snow of the season (already)

First of all - this first picture is of my baby. We cut his hair last night. It was getting so long in the back and covering his eyes. I was all ready for it. And as soon as I did it - i regretted it. he looks so grown up and different to me!!!!!!! I was so sad. he is still a cutie though!!!!

Last night it snowed again! Exactly a week ago we had like the same or a little more amount of snow fall. But then, the leaves were still on the trees so tons of trees fell over and stuff. This time it wasn't quite so bad. Wow! I'm psyched - the first snow falls are so much fun.
But I must admit today - I really wanted to just stay inside and lay on the couch. But with two toddlers - that's not really an option. And I'm almost sure that Carson knew that b/c he has had SUPER amount of energy today!!!!! Our poor neighbor below us. :(

Anyways - the sun did come out, so I started the process of putting on the snow gear! (which btw - last week we didn't even have out or know where it was. :) ) But now we are prepared. And my plan worked b/c as soon as we came in and took off all the "stuff" Carson said, "I'm tired" and went and laid down on his bed after cleaning up his toys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trucking through the snow

the parking lot of our apartment Complex

I love his tongue out in this picture

Brothers

Last year Carson hated the winter. He would not even go close to the snow and cried all the time. he would not even walk outside - we had to carry him to the car all the time, and into buildings. He would just stand there cold!!!!! This year is another whole story - he loves it. He was throwing snow balls, walking through it, chasing me with snow! It was fun to watch. Now if only one of these times we can go sledding with daddy! That will be so much fun!

I hope you're having a good Wednesday!!!!

Pirates and Lions Oh My!

I'm one of those party pooper moms who hates dressing up. :( I never have enjoyed dressing up for parties and almost hate doing it. I like to think I'm not creative at all - but really it's b/c I don't like to put the effort into it.

Also growing up in Ecuador - Halloween was not celebrated and really dressing up and costumes is not really part of the culture at all. So I'll blame it on that too.

 And now to think I need to think about it for my kids too - ugh! was my first reaction. i also did not want to spend a lot of money, but didn't want just one of those suits you buy in the store either. So I perused the shelves and just hoped that I would find something cheap and that I could make work. I also had no real intentions of doing it up big and no party was planned so I knew it was no big deal. As time came closer my friend, Jamie (who has a 2 yr old), told me that "Old Town" (downtown area) was having a time for stores to hand out candy to kids from 10am-1pm on the 31st. So i decided to go, but then I sorta had to get serious about costumes too. 

Hat and vest - $1 from target's $1 sections
Bandana -1$ at thrift store
White shirt -$1 thrift store
and i wont' tell you the sword b/c I hated spending that
much but we needed it for the outfit - then
I lost it anyways and had to buy another one - which was cheaper :)

They did so good

Carson with his friend Noah (jamie's son)
A pirate and a Monkey 

My little lion
Jamie let me borrow the ears and tail
They were lioness accessories but we didn't use the bow :)
yellow pj's -$1.50 thrift store
(It was actually a bumble bee but I cut off the bumble bee part, his feet
actually say BUZZ on them :) )
Black eye liner -$1 (b/c I don't have any )

I think they look pretty good and cute for our
first halloween Trick or Treating :)

He did so good just taking one - and saying thank you
and following me.
It was so much fun for me to see him
really though - he just wanted to eat that piece right away
he didn't get the concept of getting more candy
He just kept wanting me to open them right away
But it was still so fun!

He really wanted more and more candy
(have you seen this kid eat??????)
so I tried to appease him with saltines
thankfully it worked ok

My friend Jamie
The only person I knew before coming here
And I'm so glad for her friendship!
(and we live in the same complex so
I hang out with her ALL THE TIME)

I had so much fun during the day with the boys and with my friends - that i decided we would go out that night around our neighborhood so that Richard could join us.  I was like a little kid so excited about this whole experience.

I think the funnest part for me as the parent was everyone's reaction to your kids. They all say how cute they are, and are so happy to see them. It was so much fun watching the boys try to pick out one candy, and the adults just thinking it was adorable when Carson would say "thank you".  

I also thought - What a perfect way to meet people in your community. We stopped by an older ladies apartment who I've met and talked to - just to say hi with the boys, and she was so encouraged and thankful that we would stop by and see her for Halloween. What a great testimony to her that I actually care about her and think about her. Another lady - remembered handing candy out in "old town" (she works in a store) and remembered our boys and then talked about where we live and was so friendly. It really was great!!!!

We walked around for about an hour or so with Jamie and Gary and just laughed at the boys and had a great time! By far the funnest Halloween ever!!!!!

I'll have to post pics of our night out once I get copies of them - we took pics with Jamie's camera. :)