Life is just whizzing by I guess.
I'm now officially 12 weeks! And what a nice milestone to make it to. I am noticing a huge improvement in my appetite and nausea! For which I think we all are thankful, maybe especially Richard. :)
This whole last 6 months or more have been a big whirlwind of emotions, loneliness, highs and lows, guilt for getting pregnant easier than others I know, and everything in between
When I announced last that I was pregnant we could not be more thankful and excited. But with that came a ton of fears. This has been a big long process for me. A process of trusting God that He is good no matter what happens, of fully relying on him. We had our first normal O/B appointment last week and that was not without it's "drama". I know it's common to not be able to find the heartbeat at 11 1/2 weeks, but that was my worst nightmare. Thankfully the ultrasound proved that everything is just fine. But it was another emotional battle for me - trusting God that He is good and is holding me, giving me strength.
There have been a few dark days in this first trimester. Fighting fear along with extreme exhaustion, nausea, weird appetite and snow/cold, and my two boys and another baby I watched - resulted in a lot of dark sinful, selfish moments for me, sadly enough. And all of this is probably the reason for my lack of keeping up on this blog.
|Excuse the terrible picture. My 4 yr old took it. It was a little|
hard to edit to get this good. :)
But here I am at 12 weeks.
Bigger each time! ha
But this last weekend I noticed a change. I started feeling better which has really given me new vitality and a whole new readiness to face this world. To face these days raising my two boys. To face head on the responsibility I have with them and my house and my husband. To beg for forgiveness for not trusting God and relying on his strength and his goodness. I have seen an ulgy side of me and I don't want to go back there. But I'm thankful that God loves me and forgives me and gives me another chance to rely on him.
So here's to maybe a new start in blogging. And hopefully a new start to viewing my days and the world. Relying on God's strength and trusting him!