Thursday, July 28, 2011
just going to be honest right here on my blog - this seems to be a distinctively harder week for me. Richard has worked longer hours than normal (which i guess is a good thing b/c his work has been too slow lately), I have been overwhelmed emotionally with conflicting emotions (happy to be starting new and happy to start our lives in CO helping the church plant, but sad to think about leaving my friends and the comfortable life I have), worries about the future, packing, kids etc.
I read THE PERFECT post tonight here
and I was convicted of my sin! How many times this week have I responded to Carson in frustration over hearing him say the same thing A MILLION times before I even have a chance to respond yes or no? How many times I have been "irritated" at Landon's lack of napping or his crying b/c he's stuck once again under the table and charis? How many nights have I been frustrated that Richard is not home and I have to do the whole dinner/bedtime routine by myself? How many nights have I fought the lack of desire to read to my child so I can just sit? How many times have I voiced to Richard when he gets back from a VERY LONG day at work, that there is so much to do, that I've done all the packing by myself? Instead of showing him love and bearing all things? I'm almost in tears with conviction of my actions and attitudes tonight.
So as i sit here by myself I plan to embrace Richard when he gets home late, when he really needs my embrace b/c he has worked his "butt off" this whole week, and just be still with him and thank him for his hard work. I wish i could turn the clock back and hold my sons a little longer, spend a little longer on the floor reading the same book for the hundredth time instead of getting up to wash the dishes.
God help me to love all things, bear all things! help me to show my family love! Thank you Lord for your grace in my life. Thank you for loving me and saving me despite my sinfulness.