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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Resolutions

I've been thinking a lot just the last couple days about the year ending and the new year ahead.  Now is a time when tons of people do a lot of reflecting and goal setting.
Last year I chose the word ENJOY and I made a decision to "enjoy" the year. Each little thing. I used the word here and there in my blog. I can honestly say that I did enjoy the last year. We have had a full year of all the seasons here in Colorado. Relationships are deeper in our church and our community. I have friends here that I can call/text anytime. And that is a great feeling. WE are at home in the church and in the City of Fort Collins. We had exciting things happen - like seeing lots of both sides of family and taking a few big major trips that were not planned. Training for a difficult half marathon and completing it! I was in charge of the Children's Ministry the entire year and we have grown by leaps and bounds which is great, but added it's challenges.  Seeing God provide for our family in amazing ways in a year that we made the least money - but we can honestly say have received the most blessing from our Father. Getting pregnant and the excitement that comes with that - but then experiencing deep grief and sorrow unlike anything I've experienced. The loneliness of a miscarriage and the heartbreak -but at the same time the immense love of my Father and the pouring out of Grace in my life. Wow! I can't wait to write an official recap of the year. :) Now I'm excited about it.  I think that honestly ENJOYING life was a good word for me. I needed to enjoy my new life in Fort Collins, and the new church - and I truly did!
Looking back at my year ahead last January - I never would've dreamed of the highs and lows I would've faced throughout the year. And maybe that's why I'm a little hesitant to set any goals this year or have very many expectations of what will happen. I haven't chosen a word for the year 2013 either but stay tuned - I'll come up with one.
I keep thinking - I can try to lose about 5lbs. Or maybe another marathon and beat my time. or start some other yoga. Or start knitting more, or reading more books, or organize more.  But to be completely honest with you - I don't want to set any goals like that - I truly just want to have a baby. And b/c I'm afraid to get my expectations up - I just don't make any resolutions. I will wait and be patient and see what God has for our family. I am determined to enjoy my family as it is. To really appreciate them and not wish for something else.  Selflessly serving, without complaining, or expecting appreciation. Giving of myself without reservations. That is what I will focus on doing. B/c let's just be honest here - I am not like that at all but God has really been convicting me lately of my selfishness in the area of my family.  I want to joyfully serve my family, without complaint.
So in looking to the new year ahead - I wonder what will happen to us. I wonder what fun things we will get to do, what friends lives will go through, what areas to serve in will be presented to me. What joys I will experience or what sadness will happen.
Ultimately - I am resting in a truly loving God to carry me through the year, meanwhile selflessly and unabashedly giving of myself for my family.

5 comments:

Trina Mayfield said...

Again, LOVED reading your post!! I look forward to reading through another year of your adventurous life! Praying for that baby for you too!!

Trina Mayfield said...

Oh yea, can't wait to find out your word too!! :-)

kay marie said...

Jess--miss you and your family, but thankful that you are where God wants you to be! keep serving and waiting on God for ALL your needs--He is faithful! love you, k

Keara said...

I loved this post - and I love that you pic a word for the year. What a fantastic idea. :) I just may steal that.

Jeanette said...

Good to hear about your year. I know you had some very difficult roads to travel and I just know God is using those to lead you to something awesome in 2013!
thinking of you often. :)

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