I write this post with a little hesitation (well come to think of it, I feel like i say that phrase a lot in my posts). I don't want to sound cliche and trite, and I also don't want to discourage people who have not experienced this in the same ways we have. (b/c I do believe it will look different in people's lives) I hope others are encouraged to trust in an all-knowing, all-powerful, loving God to take care of their daily needs.
Probably all of you know that for the past, oh probably, 8 months Richard's job has been very up and down as far as the amount of work provided and the amount of hours he is getting. We (but really mostly Richard since he bears the weight of providing for his family) have struggled a lot with what we should. Should we look for another job? Should he try to find a second job or work harder at finding side jobs? Should I go back to work somehow? Should I advertise as a translator? ETC. He has recently been promoted to Project manager (essentially the second on the totem pole) in this new company which has potential to be very good for us if the company succeeds. But how long do we wait. It's a balance between patience and passivity that is really hard to define.
We knew for a fact just a few things. 1. God clearly lead us here to Colorado. 2. God clearly provided this job only a month after we got here. 3. We want to always keep our family's purpose to give to others and never hold back our money, food or possessions.(even in the midst of feeling like we don't have enough for ourselves) 4. Richard needed to still have time to devote to the church b/c that is the sole reason we moved out here!
So we prayed and tried to trust God to take care of us(but also being as wise as we could with what we spent)! Never before has our family been in such a time of need. Never before have we been pushed to these limits where the only answer is God. We felt like it before - but it seems to be getting worse. I look back when I was stressed our first two years married and laugh at myself. ha.
We spent a few months pretty discouraged about it all, and things kept happening that would cost us more money! That's frustrating.
I am not even going to try to list all the many, many ways we have evidenced God's provision as a family! But all I can say is that he truly truly does take care of all our needs. He loves us as his sons and daughters and will provide.
The last two months have been the hardest financially for us also. Richard worked the fewest amount of hours he ever has in our whole married life and we had a crisis happen. But I am humbled to tears thinking back how things have worked out. Richard and I are literally humbled in our lack of faith b/c of how much God has given to us. The last two months specifically we have received monetary gifts of a rather large proportion from people we were totally not expecting or anticipating! From little things like pumpkins on our door step to large checks or huge amounts of groceries, a paid trip to Boston to be able to be with family for Thanksgiving, dinners paid for or brought to us. little jobs here and there for Richard or myself that help with our monthly budget. And a pluthera of things in between.
I'm sitting here in awe of how good our God is. Why do I doubt? Why do I fret? I remember distinctly reading Matthew 6 a few months back and posting the verses and trying to meditate on them! Now they are such a reality.
I want to encourage you all out there - God will not let go of you! He will provide for you. It may not look like you want it to, or like it does for our family - but I promise he will take care of your "needs".
I wanted to document this so that in the future I can come back to it when I forget the huge reality of what it was like for our family. And even if God didn't provide in these ways for our family - I will still say that He is Good, He is faithful, and he loves us and is King over all.