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Monday, January 23, 2012

Blue Monday

I just read that today - Jan 23, 2012 is considered the most depressing day of the year! I'm glad I have an explanation for how I'm feeling today. ha

My heart if full of many things to say - but no words to say them. I'm struggling with how exactly to put things down - b/c I've been mis-took so many times after I've written from the heart. (which I know is one of the dangers of blogging, but you know, whether you're in person, or texting, or email or phone convo - this is a danger)

My desire with this blog is to document our life - but more importantly I want so much for Christ to shine through. I want Him to be glorified in the mundane of life. I want people to see that there is joy in life because God loves us and chose me to live with him, and to help further his kingdom in his BIG STORY for this world! I am a part of it! 
Motherhood (or really LIFE in general) is not easy! there are hard days, lonely days, and frustrating days, and "feeling guilty" days.  But what greater joy and blessing than to have children and see them grow, to nurture them, and care for all their needs. 
I have been convicted recently on my "tone" or "anger" towards my boys. How often to do I respond in frustration b/c of something else being dumped out, or thrown across the room, or ripped apart - when I could respond with Gentleness!!!! How many times do I say "no" to them or give them a negative command - and don't have positive feedback or give them positive attention.
This all happened within 5 min of
dinner trying to be prepared
Many days I go to sleep "feeling guilty" for the tone I used so often during the day. I wish i could go back and change it - but the next day it starts all over again. 

This is where I hope people can see God's grace being poured out on me! I'm not perfect, I fail so many times throughout the day - but God loves me, He loves my children, and He is pouring Grace on my life teaching me and showing me areas I need to concentrate on to be more like Him!

Even in the mundane of park days, or laundry days, or discipline questions, or seeking wisdom for decisions for you kids, or life altering decisions like moving -  WE ARE BLESSED beyond measure already because of Christ who died in our place and forgave us our sins if we have FAITH in him!


The passage below is my prayer for myself and for you as fellow mothers (and I really do pray for a lot of you especially if you have asked me, or I know your situation! It's how I feel connected to friends while I stay at home with no car!) I think of you mother/friends often throughout my day.
Let us strive for our lives to be a light to our children and our neighbors and the world around - that we love them and that Christ loves for them shines through us!

And also importantly
I hope we ENJOY our lives!!!!!!!

Ephesians 3: 14-21
14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 
15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 
18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 
19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
 20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 
21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

5 comments:

The Kurty Story; From my point of view said...

I love your transparency!! I love how you don't make motherhood sound all rosie but that you let us know that you struggle, like each and everyone of us! I know that is a very true and real stuggle in my life! Motherhood is hard and we have bad days but you are so right and I love that you brought out God Grace in our life. Life is hard but Gods Grace is amazing!! Love you and you are doing a fabulous job!!! I am your biggest fan!!

Trina Mayfield said...

No, Jerelyn can't be your biggest fan because I AM!!!:-) I laughed at that cool picture of them with the baking things!!!! I well remember their mother and her sisters doing that SAME THING!!!!! You are doing a GREAT JOB! You're a fantastic mother and I love how you express yourself in your posts (I can't believe ANYONE would criticize you for sharing your heart in this way)! Keep up the good job!!!!

Michelle said...

Oh Jess, I feel you! I understand! I usually respond the incorrect way to Annaleigh as well, simply because I'm frustrated. Ann Vonskamp said, "I have been appointed to disappoint so that I can point to the One who doesn't disappoint." SO TRUE! That quote gave me great relief when I read it. Thank you for sharing your heart...don't stop. Because we are not to try and persuade BUT to share TRUTH...and sometimes truth (even the truth about our lives) will be misunderstood...and that's OK. The ones who love truly love you (and matter most) won't judge!! (like me) And thank you for your prayers...I can feel them...

p.s. I'm writing down that verse and tucking in in my Bible....thank you for that.

Team Worth said...

Jess,

The word that came to my mind as I read your post was perspective. Keeping perspective in the hustle bustle of life is very tough discipline, and one I struggle with greatly. Eden is only 3 months old and I already get frustrated when I have to walk around the apartment with her for an hour to keep her calm. It is so easy for me to lose that prospective that I am incredibly blessed to have a healthy baby girl!

When I begin to look back at those moments and begin to fill with regret I remind myself that I am redeemed and made new, so now I just have to move forward with the best course of actions from here on out. That helps me not stress or regret but look forward with hope.

- Mark

PS. Michelle, that verse is likely already printed in your bible... ;)

kellyH said...

this is an interesting article - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
not written from a christian perspective, but still a reminder to give ourselves grace (as God does) during a season of life that can be exhausting. :)

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