Busy - ness

I have been thinking lately - looking at older mother's with older kids, from elementary age to high school and even college. WOW - life just gets busier and busier. I don't want to get busy - but it just happens. I think now, I need to enjoy my days at home. I don't have anywhere to be a lot of days, and I can schedule my boys how I want, and can do housework throughout the day with no rush. I feel tired now, but how am I going to feel when I'm carting kids around everywhere and hardly home in a day to clean and get meals prepared. Plus the emotional pressures of letting your kids go, making their own decisions, and not being able to control every action they take. YIKES!!!

I was getting overwhelmed last night about upcoming life and what it will all entail. (I feel like having little kids some days is exhausting, but it's daunting to know that it kinda gets worse. I know I'm the best pessimist there is, ask my mom and my husband. Then I remembered . . .

Hey, what did my mom do

when I was the one

washing all the dishes?

or setting the table, or cleaning up dinner

or vacuuming or cleaning my own room?

So the moral of the story is this - life is what you want it to be. You are only as busy as you make yourself or you only feel as tired as your complaining about it. every one has 24 hrs in a day, and you do what you want to do, or have to do. Every stage has negative and positives and it's what you concentrate on that makes you who you are and how you are.

Enjoy life!!!!!!

Love God for what he's done to save you!

and love people!!! :)

(correct me if I'm wrong mother - but didn't i talk like this about college life, and going into married/motherhood. :))

Sisters

Isn't there a song about sisters??? I can't think of it right now.

Jerelyn laughs at me all the time b/c I can never remember lyrics of songs. We would be singing along with the radio in the car on our long road trips in college and I would be saying completely different things than what the song actually said, all along thinking that I had it right. She always laughs at me about it. And we were talking back about that time when we were together this week. Hhahaha. I don't know what it is, but I never know the lyrics of songs. anyways . . . .

I got to go down and visit my sister last week, and this time all our boys were healthy and we enjoyed ourselves fully. Our boys have a hay day playing with eachother and that makes conversation with my sister endless. ;) It's so fun to sit around all day talking about "nothing"

This was one of the mornings

this is a way easier way to feed our boys

Sitting on the kitchen floor

one plate, one fork, all communal. :)

Now don't forget, we fought non stop in gradeschool, highschool, and a lot of college. But now that we are "mature" we get along so well. We are in the same stage of life, and have realized that we understand each other better than most of our friends do. That makes "fellowship" sweet.

I also spent time with my brother Jeff (who is at NIU as a junior) and his girlfriend. Sadly for some reason I have no pictures of them. :( it was so good to see them and spend time with them too. I'm glad it worked out we could spend time together this week. Since as we keep growing older the distance between us (land mass wise) will get bigger and bigger. (part of growing up in a missionary family I guess). Cherishing the moments that we have right now!

What does a 2 year old do on his Birthday?

Wanted to let you all in our Carson's Big Day!

Mum and Dad and landon come into

my room singing

"Happy Birthday"

Then i get to play with some of my new trains :)

Then I get to have donuts at

Dunkin Donuts!!!!

Then I have my favorite food for lunch

Yogurt, apples, cracker sandwich, and cheese

then I help my dad wash the dishes (right now, I like to do this)Time for Bed!

I love My Birthday!!!!

2

We celebrated Carson's 2 Year Birthday this past Saturday.

I was really hoping for a nice warm day b/c our house is so small, but the day before and the day after were nice, not the actual day of the party. Oh well, we still enjoyed ourselves. (I think anyways :))

I wanted a Finding Nemo Theme, b/c Carson loves the movie and the book. But come to find out, they discontinue the "old stuff". :( But I was able to find a few things and substitute generic fish things for the rest. :)

I had sidewalk chalk and bubbles for the kids to do outside, and then I bought a kit of those sticky styrofoam fish things as a craft inside. The kids were a little young to fully appreciate it, but it kept their attention for a little bit.

Opening presents went just as you would expect at a normal 2 year old birthday party. I invited his cousins, and 3 of his friends that are right around his age.

Carson is full of joy! He is so smiley and happy. He always has been. He is learning so much every day, and loves to give out kisses and hugs. His vocabulary is expanding EVERY day!!!! I can't believe how much he repeats every thing I say to him! We are working on numbers/counting and his colors right now. (we have been for a while, but he is finally showing some progress in these areas. :)) Overall he is very obedient. Although he has his "independent" moments, he knows to obey what I say, and makes my days full of joy and energy! I love being his mother, and I love to hear him say "mommy girl", "daddy boy" , "Landon Boy", Carson Boy" :) or "Kiss Mommy" or his rendition of Love you Mommy. He melts my heart at least once a day. You should also hear him so "so funny". :) He says it about everything and it really makes us smile. He loves TRAINS!!!!! He can't get enough of all kinds of trains.

If you're happy and you know it!

Some days I think "this kid will never learn anything, he can't sit still long enough to pay attention to what I'm saying" Then overnight he seems to pick up so much stuff. I am guilty of wanting my kids to grow up too fast, sometimes. :( But seeing Carson learn these songs is so fun. I can't wait to see him in Kid's worship singing along with the other kids. :)

Fear

I have struggled with the Sin of Fear most of my life. I even would make my sister's sleep with me in highschool and College b/c I couldn't sleep some nights. I would fear just about anything. And it was very hard to control my thoughts. (getting married was the best thing for me, I always have a sleeping partner, and he helps me take my thoughts captive and settle down).

This Sunday, our Pastor preached on Psalm 46. In light of everything that is going on in this world, my mind starts racing to every possible scenario that is possible (mostly influenced by Hollywood).

As followers of Christ, there are 2 distinctions we should have - that we love one another, and that we don't live in Fear. This was a challenge to me -

God is our refuge and Strength, an ever present help in trouble, therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, or the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Vs. 10 - Be still and know that I am GOD, I will be exalted among the Nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Vs 11 - The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our Fortress.

In the midst of all this Chaos due to our sinful world - I will not fear, God is my fortress. I trust in Him, he is my refuge and my Strength. My mind will be still and know that God is my GOD!

Spring time bliss

I always want to try to get pictures of my boys

with me. I forget to get

in the pictures sometimes

This was right before the big

2 year old

Birthday Party started!

Landon has really started being so happy and so easy

to get to smile

for the camera. It's so fun.

He loved being outside

A month

So it's been a month exactly since I started getting up early to spend time with God over a cup of hot coffee. A blogger friend challenged me to maybe check up on those few bloggers that read this and see if anyone else took that challenge? How did you do?

Although I did not get up on Saturdays, and did miss one or two days other than that, I must say I feel like it's been way longer than a month b/c it is starting to feel routine. The boys have not made it too easy, but I have a loving husband who is so helpful. there are some mornings that are more beneficial than others (this morning not one of them) but the idea is a pattern, and a relationship. Keep it up - Maybe I'll check in you again next month.

You ever have one of those weeks?

You know - where you look back and wonder what happened? Starting out this week, I feel like I'm in a whole different stage of life than I was starting out last week, and I never would've thought I would've been here.

Last week, I was looking forward to all the apts I had to go to, so that I could get out of the house, and Landon was turning 6 Months old, which is a happy time for me. At his check up appointment, i get the sad news that what I feared was true. The same thing had happened with my milk that did with Carson And then the WIC apt confirmed it too. I had always wondered if it was just me or the fact that I didn't try hard enough.

So without feeling like I need to give too much explanation (which I do feel like I need to defend myself for some reason) I have quit nursing Landon. I know my own body and know that I did do all I could. I don't feel like I'm a quiter. (if you saw the sorta of trouble I went through with Carson, and the pain I had for the length I have it both times nursing, I think you would agree). Landon was a much better nurser, I drink way more water than the average person, and gave him way less bottles, and started cereal later, and nursed more often - and yet, the same thing happened with my milk. I think it really is my body not being able to produce for longer than 5-6 months. (when I pump it is very waterery, almost see through :( ) For some reason my body can only produce good milk until about 5 months ish, and then I notice it decreasing, both babies stop gaining weight, and pumping does not help, eating correctly does not help, and nursing more did not help. :(

It was harder to stop this time. Maybe b/c Landon liked nursing more and it did phase him. We both had a few rough days at the end of last week. I think we are doing better now though.

It's sorta sad to me that that phase of my life is over with for now. (I never thought I would say that). I guess it's just another sign that my babies are getting older.

Richard worked a lot too, so I was home by myself more than normal (which is not good for me :( )

But you know - at the end of it all - the devastation in Japan brought me back to reality. I have been so blessed. How can I complain about things when I am sitting in a comfortable house, with my 2 children, and I can provide for them. Also what brought me back from "feeling sorry for myself" - God loves me more than I can ever imagine, He is always God and God is always good to me, and b/c of him I have salvation to live in eternity with him - I need to live my daily life in light of these facts and not how I feel or what is happening with my kids that day(screaming or laughing).

Christ Is Risen By Matt Maher with lyrics

Wow!!! What a song!!!! I know Easter is more than a month away, but boy do I love this song!!!! If I had any say in it, (which I don't) I think it would be a great song to sing on Easter Sunday in church. I have been so encouraged by this.

6 Months Old

Landon is officially 6 months old. What a joy he is!!!! Most people when they meet him or spend time with him comment on how "content" he is. That's a nice compliment for a baby I think. And yes, he truly is content. (most of the time) He has his stubborn napping moments, or "wanting to be held all day" days, but he is for the most part, so CONTENT!!!

He smiles at us almost every time we talk to him. LOVE that!!! He even laughed out loud one night. He hasn't done it since, but boy, that just made my heart melt. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to hear that noise come out of their bodies. So wonderful.

To think, it was only 6 months ago, that I was in the hospital for days, with amniotic fluid leaking out, laboring, and then the whole ordeal of the NICU. So much stress, worry, doctors, tiredness of everything. I told myself then, when he is 6 months old, this will all be a memory, a blurr; and it truly is that way. I'm so thankful for what God taught Richard and I through that ordeal, but I'm so happy also that Landon is healthy, growing, and loves us already.

Question about Nursing (disclaimer Men beware)

So I need some advice, any advice.

I had a feeling this was going to happen, but I just went to Landon's 6 months check up, and low and behold - he only gained 1/2lb in 2 hrs. The same exact thing happened with Carson at his 6 months check up, and I ended up stopping nursing b/c I didn't understand and he certainly wasn't getting enough.

Could it be that my body doesn't produce enough after a longer time? Could I not being eating enough or the right thing? What can I do to help? Even last week I nursed him so much and taht didn't seem to help. He eats like crazy and often enough and long enough. The doc said that was the problem but I really don't think it is. I can tell when he runs out of milk, and he keeps sucking but not swallowing, and he would stay there forever, but he just isn't getting anymore.

Doctor told me to start supplementing after each feeding, but that is going to get pretty time consuming pretty quickly. Should I stop exercising? ( I really don't want to do that!!!)

I don't get it. I have never done anything except for breastfeed, and I even waited longer to start cereal thinking that would help. But it didn't :(

Just want to know what everyone's thought out there are :) (please be nice :))

Grocery Store Flyers

I get a sense of excitement thinking about getting our Sunday paper and pulling out the 2 grocery store flyers that I shop at along with the smart source, red plum and the CVS flyer. I can't wait to look through them, see what's on sale, and what I will be able to get really cheap. It's sorta fun for me to do it. I look forward to it every week. Some weeks it's a challenge and I do get sick of it, but for the most part it's kinda fun looking through them to see what I can get cheap this week. Some weeks are better than others, but I still always find at least one thing that is on a good sale. And this is my weekly monday along with Laundry. Now you know what I do on every single monday. (very much a creature of habit)

These days

As many of you know - our house has been filled with sickness. But before I go on - I will say, it's not been terrible, and it's been much better than many friends out there who have been inundated with worse sickness. This I know - so I'm not complaining.

First it was Richard and I. Richard had a sore throat, cough congestion, aches and fever for about 5 days before starting amoxicillan. I of course only get my nasty cough that lasts forever and gets better just in time for another round of coughing. Its been like this my whole life and I'm pretty used to having congestion and a cough for about %50 of my lifetime. But I've never seen Richard sick for so long with a fever. Once we started feeling better our boys now have gotten it. Last week was Carson. Poor guy, fever for a couple days on and off. Just when you think, ok we're through this today he's doing better, he has another fever and looks pathetic again. This week it's Landon. I had thought he had escaped this sickness (nursing and everything) but just when I thought we were out of the woods, he came down with his first fever. :( It's the saddest thing. So this week, we're back to sitting on the couch cuddling as much as possible. I am nursing a TON (and I'm not kidding, in 14 hrs, I think i nursed him 8 times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no dehydration here) and cuddling a lot. Landon is definitely more attatched to me than Carson ever was. And I must admit there is a little glimmer of joy, when he's in someone else's arms or in the rocker or on the couch and I can see him looking longingly at me so that I will hold him close. :) (that will probably change when the crying comes with it). And just like Carson, right when I think we made it through and there's no fever for 24 hrs, it comes back and we're on the couch again.

That's been our few weeks. But I'm so thankful first of all, for health, being sick makes you so appreciative of your health. I'm thankful it hasn't been that bad compared to a lot of other stuff people have caught, and I'm thankful that my schedule can allow these lazy days at home with my boys cuddling them to death.