Last week, I was looking forward to all the apts I had to go to, so that I could get out of the house, and Landon was turning 6 Months old, which is a happy time for me. At his check up appointment, i get the sad news that what I feared was true. The same thing had happened with my milk that did with Carson And then the WIC apt confirmed it too. I had always wondered if it was just me or the fact that I didn't try hard enough.
So without feeling like I need to give too much explanation (which I do feel like I need to defend myself for some reason) I have quit nursing Landon. I know my own body and know that I did do all I could. I don't feel like I'm a quiter. (if you saw the sorta of trouble I went through with Carson, and the pain I had for the length I have it both times nursing, I think you would agree). Landon was a much better nurser, I drink way more water than the average person, and gave him way less bottles, and started cereal later, and nursed more often - and yet, the same thing happened with my milk. I think it really is my body not being able to produce for longer than 5-6 months. (when I pump it is very waterery, almost see through :( ) For some reason my body can only produce good milk until about 5 months ish, and then I notice it decreasing, both babies stop gaining weight, and pumping does not help, eating correctly does not help, and nursing more did not help. :(
It was harder to stop this time. Maybe b/c Landon liked nursing more and it did phase him. We both had a few rough days at the end of last week. I think we are doing better now though.
It's sorta sad to me that that phase of my life is over with for now. (I never thought I would say that). I guess it's just another sign that my babies are getting older.
Richard worked a lot too, so I was home by myself more than normal (which is not good for me :( )
But you know - at the end of it all - the devastation in Japan brought me back to reality. I have been so blessed. How can I complain about things when I am sitting in a comfortable house, with my 2 children, and I can provide for them. Also what brought me back from "feeling sorry for myself" - God loves me more than I can ever imagine, He is always God and God is always good to me, and b/c of him I have salvation to live in eternity with him - I need to live my daily life in light of these facts and not how I feel or what is happening with my kids that day(screaming or laughing).